Friends With Different Parenting Styles

Have you grown apart from your best gal pal since kids came into the picture? Kids and different parenting styles can alter friendships. Keep reading for details.

problem with friends

Not seeing eye to eye

When you have a baby, you often look to friends and family for support and advice, but when you receive advice that you don't agree with or that doesn't feel natural to your own instincts, it can become harder and harder to relate to the person dishing it. Kids don't come with instruction manuals and every child is different, so what works for some parents and some children probably won't work for all -- even our closest pre-baby friends.

Are you able to look past the differences or do you leave your baby with a sitter and hang out without the little ones around? "When you realize that you have formed your own parenting style, you rely on your instincts -- and the needs of your own child -- and less on what your friends say," says Nicole, a mom of one. "There are friends that I just don't see as often now that we have kids... we have grown apart over time."

Changing friendships after becoming parents >>

Worried about the influence on your child

Some parents can't look past not seeing eye-to-eye. After all, not everyone is the same and not everyone is going to parent the same. Realizing that we are all different is one thing, but when your Mama Bear instinct kicks in and you feel the need to protect your child from outside influences, you may shy away from play dates and hanging out with parents that don't share similar parenting styles.

What is your parenting style? >>

Polar opposite parenting

Even if you are able to get past the advice -- unwanted or wanted -- and if you don't necessarily worry about outside influences, sometimes you simply cannot be around someone that is the polar opposite of you. Just as you wouldn't hang out with someone that you have nothing in common with minus kids, why would you force yourself to be around someone that you have nothing in common when the main focus is the kids?

Jennifer, a mom of two boys, says, "There are parents that don't use cloth diapers, don't breastfeed on demand, wouldn't dare co-sleep, don't really wear their baby and don't cringe when they hear the words 'cry it out'... and while that's what makes the world go 'round, I have absolutely nothing in common with these mothers. We have nothing to talk about and when it's forced, it's uncomfortable -- for both of us."

Tell us:

Have you grown apart from any of your pre-kid friends?

More about parenting styles

5 Parenting styles for a new generation
How to stop hyper-parenting and just relax with your kids
The problem with helicopter parenting

Tags: mom friends

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Comments

Comments on "I can't stand my mommy friends"

jen December 04, 2011 | 2:04 PM

That's what I get for being snarky. I DO know how to spell "retired" and "agony."

jen December 04, 2011 | 2:02 PM

"There are mother who use cloth diapers...I have nothing to say to them." Heh. I'm sure she has no idea how shallow she comes off with that one alone, let alone the breast-feeding on demand, etc. As a retire teacher, all I can say is I don't envy those who have to deal with this mother and her kids once they're in school. Hey, Lady, I used Pampers and switched to a bottle after 2 weeks of agoney and frustration. I have 3 college degrees and have been successful at 3 different careers. And I wouldn't have anything to say to you, either.

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