We also need fuel to run our minds effectively to deal with the challenges, disappointments, roadblocks and stop signs of life. Emotional development -- teaching kids to feel comfortable with themselves, their feelings and thoughts -- is the fuel for brain and mind development. If you don't help your child develop in this way, they will limp through life, missing stop signs, danger signs and turn left notifications. They will be unable to unload the feelings that pile up in the body, because they won't know how to cope with them. They will drink to deal, use drugs to deal, be closed and disconnected, work endlessly to avoid feeling, and have cavemen conversations, like, "huh/what? Talk to you later." No substance, no depth, surface lives, surface chatter, surface relations with others.
So what is emotional development?
It is noticing what someone isn't saying. If your child brings home a bad grade, you notice that, and maybe make an assumption that they didn't study, and you might ground them. Emotionally developed people would sit the child down and ask what happened. Are they having trouble in school? Is the work too much, too hard? It isn't making assumptions. You ask a child to wear an outfit and they say no. You reprimand them without questioning why they don't like it. You listen to their opinion. Respecting a person and their ideas and feelings is key.
If someone makes a mistake, your goal is to help them learn from it, not criticize them and put them down for their poor thinking. This creates low self esteem. Listening, questioning, caring and showing that through expression, all promote emotional development. Allow kids to have choices and make decisions about dinner, clothing, what they would like to do for the day. Fish for their ideas on school and family. Don't tell them what and how to think.
Evaluate their thinking and direct them when their thinking is getting them in trouble. Always explain why. Do not say" because, I said so." That is control, not joining with your child in a joint venture of cooperation and learning. The beauty of children cannot be compared with much in life. They are innocent beings, waiting to get the emotional teachings they need to get by in this world and to meet the most basic of needs, love, communication, freedom, happiness, choice and survival .
To promote emotional development you will:
And you'll see personalized content just for you whenever you click the My Feed .
SheKnows is making some changes!
b e h e a r d !
Welcome to the new SheKnows Community,
where you can share your stories, ideas
and CONNECT with millions of women.
Get Started