Don't Get Dad That!
Father's Day is less than a week away, and that means you're getting down to the wire if you don't have a Father's Day gift picked out yet. Don't let your desperation get the better of you! Avoid these five not-so-great Father's Day gifts.
Really, does Dad need another tie? Probably not. And even if he needs one, I'm going to let you in on a secret. He doesn't want one for Father's Day. A tie for a Father's Day gift is the equivalent of an iron for a Mother's Day gift. (Unless you wanted an iron. And if you did, we need to talk.) Just say no to the tie.
World's Greatest Dad t-shirt
I can't be the only one who remembers the man who was arrested in an underage sex sting when he went to meet what he thought was a 14-year-old girl wearing a World's Greatest Dad shirt. I'll never look at anything with "World's Greatest Dad" printed on it the same way. But even if nobody else is scarred forever, I promise you Dad doesn't want a World's Greatest Dad t-shirt for a Father's Day gift. Or a mug. Or a pen. Or a certificate... You get the idea.
Socks and underwear
Ladies, this isn't reciprocation time for those lacy undergarments that your guy gifted you with at Christmas. I'm sure it was embarrassing to open that in front of your in-laws, but if we're honest with ourselves, we know that his intentions when he buys you a little somethin' somethin' from Victoria's Secret are not the same as yours when you wrap up a package of undershirts and a new collection of boxers. I don't care if they're from the Gap -- we're still talking about boxer shorts. And I understand that you're probably dying to replace his years-old collection, but don't make your Underwear Improvement Project a Father's Day gift. Trust me. New socks and underwear do not say, "You're an awesome dad to my kids!"
Okay, not just any books. Avoid insulting books, such as The Complete Idiot's Guide to Fatherhood. It's probably funny and it likely has some good information in there, but Father's Day isn't the time to give the gift of a "how not to be a bad dad" book. If you're tempted to buy a book like this, I encourage you to ignore my advice above and stick with a tie or t-shirt. Nothing says, "You're a great Dad!" like "You're an idiot of a father!"
A certificate for a "back massage" from mom
Alright, so Dad would probably like this one. But little kids ask questions and older kids aren't as naive as you think. Unless you want your 10-year-old rocking herself to sleep while sucking her thumb on Sunday night, save the clever certificate for sexy time until after the kids are in bed. And at that point, do you really need the certificate?
Real Father's Day gifts