Your 5-year-old: Development, behavior and parenting tips

Aug 29, 2011 9:24 AM by Tiernan McKay

Posted in Parenting / Age by Age / School Age Kids

Your Blooming
5-Year-Old

Understanding normal 5-year-old development and behavior will help you know the best way to parent your child. As parents, we know that a child's birthday come with plenty of hoopla. With each turn of the calendar there's a new guest list, a new theme and a new 'must have' toy. When they're young, another birthday also means a number of significant accomplishments. Our 5-year-olds are enjoying a magical time in their young lives, and with all of that magic come all sorts of changes and some unique challenges for parents.

5 year old boy

It may be sobering to see your 5-year-old become a little person rather than a toddler. At this age, children show us a glimpse of the the adult they will one day become. While there are a number of factors that contribute to a child's development, there are some universal milestones that come with a child's fifth year.

What's happening physically?

Your child continues to grow, but this is a crucial time for gross and fine motor skill development. Dr. Robyn McKay, a therapist at Arizona State University and expert in child and adolescent development, says, "If you have not done so already, this is a great time to start training in dance, gymnastics, swimming, and soccer – activities that encourage a child's awareness of her body, help improve focus and concentration, and engage her in collaborative relationships with other children."

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What's happening neurologically?

A 5-year-old's brain is almost the size of an adult's, but will continue to develop for the next 20 years. "The language centers of the brain are maturing and a child's speech is becoming increasingly like the adults around her," says McKay. This is also a perfect time to start teaching your child a new language or instrument.

"The brain is incredibly plastic, which means that children at this age love to memorize facts, song lyrics, and can readily learn new languages," says McKay. "Learning a second (or even third) language during early childhood improves processing speed and cognitive flexibility – two key aspects of intelligence and creativity."

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What's happening socially and emotionally?

At 5, many kids are becoming aware of their individuality and learn the concept of self-confidence. While some are beginning to understand other people's moods and feelings, most are not too interested in relationships, as we understand them. "For those children who are sensitive and intuitive, this can be a difficult time," says McKay.

"Hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and even bullying and victimization can begin to shape social relationships. The good news is that many 5-year-olds are more interested in learning about dinosaurs, insects, and human anatomy than they are about navigating social relationships."

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Tips for moms

Every parent can use some tips when it comes to raising a 5-year-old. Dr. McKay offers the following nuggets of wisdom:

Encourage your child's curiosity (tiresome and frustrating sometimes). Ask him, "What do you think?" You'll be amazed at his creative responses!
Keep challenging your own mind. One of the best predictors of a child's future success is his or her parents' own educational level. When you keep learning, you grow, and your child most certainly benefits. For example, learn a second language along with your child, take a creative writing class, or finish your master's degree.
Focus on what's right with your child. Does she belt out songs from the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack? Is he already a math whiz? Celebrate your child's strengths and encourage him or her to continue focusing on what's right. The world is full of critics. Be your child's biggest fan.

With a little patience, your child's fifth year can be an adventure... for both you and your little one.