Your 4-year-old: Development, behavior and parenting tips

Aug 29, 2012 11:00 AM by Beth Stewart

Posted in Parenting / Parenting Tips & Advice / Child Development & Health

Curious And Fun
4-Year-Olds

Your 4-year-old is full of energy, talkative and curious. He’s eager to show you what he can do. You and he will both be excited by his accomplishments. He constantly tests his environment and will waffle between feelings of security and insecurity. He may also be a bossy little tyke who makes up stories. You will experience emotional highs and lows with this age and each day will be a new challenge for both of you.

Funny four year old boy

Each child is different and what one child does at 4 might be quite different from another. However there are some benchmarks that you will find your 4-year-old reaching this year.

4-year-old developmental milestones

Social skills for 4-year-olds

shows more independence — able to brush his teeth and get dressed by himself
demanding but also eagerly cooperative
may be rude, or even tell you to shut up — the more you emotionally react, the more he will misbehave
wants to be liked and to please his friends and perhaps has a best friend which could be of either sex
knows about everyday things like food, money and appliances and the concept of time
has little sense of ownership — possession means he views all things as his
has learned sympathy and sadness when someone or something is in pain — that is what he wants when he is in the same situation
has become aware of sexuality and has a natural curiosity about it
shows a high degree of interest in singing, dancing and acting
brims over with imaginative ideas
tries to distinguish the difference between fantasy and reality
may like telling "tall tales"

Motor skills for 4-year-olds

jumps up and touches line 3 inches above standing reach
hops forward on one foot
uses an overhand toss to hit a target from 5 feet
throws small ball underhand 10 feet
loves movement — climbing, swinging, somersaulting and skipping
enjoys writing, painting, modeling, cutting, pasting and building structures
draws a circle, square and sometimes triangle
hand-drawn pictures will contain all of the essential elements like eyes, nose and mouth — although they won't look like people to you

Language skills for 4-year-olds

can count to 10 or more
can name at least four colors
has a vocabulary of more than 1,000 words
puts together sentences of four or five words
asks the most questions of any age
enjoys using the four letter words he has heard and particularly enjoys the look on your face when he says them — don't overreact!

What is the best way to discipline your preschooler? Get tips here! >>

Parenting survival tips

Your 4-year-old is at an important learning stage. Let him set his own pace as you provide opportunities to encourage his enthusiasm and creativity. Take him to the zoo, museums, and don't forget the art gallery. There are many good books which illustrate the spatial concepts he needs to learn like over and under, and opposites like big and small. You can reinforce these concepts with everyday objects, like balls and cups.

"Encourage your child's relationships with his friends."

Encourage your child's relationships with his friends. However, you will find that with this exposure, he will realize there are other values and opinions besides yours.

Physical safety is still a big issue as motor skills have increased substantially but judgment is lacking. He will need to be reminded to wait and hold hands before crossing the street and although he probably loves water and wants to swim, never leave him unattended.

As he expresses his normal curiosity about sexuality, don't scold or punish. Answer his questions with short age-appropriate answers.

Get tips here on how to answer your preschooler's questions about sex. >>

Don't overreact to unpleasant behaviors. 'Time outs' are an effective form of punishment for this age. Usually it's recommended one minute per year, so try a four-minute time out.

Next page: Brain-boosting activities for 4-year-olds >>

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Tags: child development preschoolers

Comments

Comments on "Your 4-year-old: Development, behavior and parenting tips"

Hi my 4yr old son loves to sing,dance etc.i enjoyd with him but when his needs are not met he throw things away.i always say that "dont do it again its bad" but none of these things work.thats why im out of control i spanked him.he likes to play video games on wii,celphone,ipod maybe becouse of that he worsen!,.pls help me...

i think we need to show more patience as moms and ask God or higher power for help and compassion within ourselves. They are just kids and we need to love them no matter what

I have a little boy who turned four in October, he is funny, energetic, creative and very advanced for his age with writing and drawing. He sometimes tries to answer back or says with a huge grin on his face that he is going to hit us etc I think it is halarious. lovely age.

www.sheknows bookmarked, you should watch that Asian hot models

Hi i have a 4yr old boy and a 1yr old jack russell,they drive me nuts it feels like from the time i get up in the morning till the time i go to bed im always shouting at both of them,my little boy wont leave the dog alone,ive tried the naughty step but didnt work,its like talking to a brick wall with him i do wonder if he cant hear me properly or he just has selective hearing,he has no patients please help.

Hi I have a little boy who is nearly 3 we have a great bond and spend most of our time together but one thing that is bugging me is that he goes to pre sch for 2 half days a week when I take him in he cuddles me holds my hands and often wwants me to stay although he is getting better now and enjoys pre sch so this is what confuses me and hurts me when I pick him up as soon as he sees me he doesn't come to me goes ionto a bit of a tantrum and doesn't want to leave he looks at me as though he hates me yet at home he is so loving why does he act this way when I pick him up many thanks for reading

@Leen wtf, are you trolling? @Thea what did you think a child would do? Just ask him/her what they think, if you can't think of an answer. @Rey , Rey knows what's up. @Faith, seek prof help. Like now.

Hi, my son 4 yeras old always kissing me & telling me i love u mummy, always he likes to huge me & kiss me . is this normal?.

My child is 4 years old, his teacher is asking me to help him say full sentences and use the negative words properly.Im correcting his sentences indirectly.i am wondering if its normal for his age not to say full and correct sentences.

My 4 year old don't stop ask questions!!! He will ask for example " Why is the sky blue? And if it is not blue? And if it was pink? Or what if it was white?" And so the questions go on and on every day, I can't think of all the answers!!!

I am a grandma taking care of my 4 year old grandson who has recently become defient and shoots me with his finger and sometimes mumbles "hate you. He threw a toy and hit me in the mouth and said I was talking to fast. I am not sure what to do. All of this has come up within the last month or two.

I have a 4 year old son, he is very energetic and sometimes super hyper especially when he eats chocolate or when he drinks chocolate drink. He never notice that sometimes he gets hurt or he's hurting someone. We always scolding him by shouting or tapping his hands or feet when he hurts someone. Is this a normal behavior of a child?How is the best way to teach a child like this?

My humble opinion. We have five kids, only one at home now but we sure do miss the others. My best advice for discipline is the 1,2,3 method. Started it when the kids were little, experiencing many of the same behaviors that I'm reading about here and as a result, our lives improved dramatically. It's based on the idea that I am the parent and I am in charge. You will do what I say, but that does not mean that you can't have an opinion. When my child said or did something that I felt needed to be corrected, I'd say, "That's one." Then the child has an opportunity to do or say whatever, to which I would respond, "That's two" with minimal reaction. At that point, they either stop and life moves on, or they say or do something else, at which point I'd say, "That's three, time out." After timeout (yes, I did have one child that I would have to hold in time out.) I'd wrap the child in my arms and say, "I'm sorry that you got in trouble but I am the parent and I am in charge." At this point they'd feel comforted enough to apologize in return but not always. Give them a hug and a kiss and life moves on. Giving some control to the kid really helps. We used the same principle when they were slightly older by sometimes saying, "You can go to bed 1/2 hour early or you can go in time out." Again, child has some control here but parent is still in charge. And of course, there were some times when I would say, "That is one and two." Amazing how those words used sparingly changes conversation really fast. Good luck to all. Enjoy them when they are young. They grow so fast.

I raised 4 boys. It wasn't easy. In fact they could get out of control at times. Yeah, they were very active. Well when I figured out that routine was very important, and doing daily activities; they felt much more secure. I yelled less, and we began developing positive bonds that have lasted a lifetime. Don't worry so much about perfection. The perfect house, or even the need of so many expensive toys. The time you spend even going for walks to the playground, reading together, working in the garden planting something, will begin these special,positive and valuable times together.

I also have a near 4 ear old son he has driven me around the bend and o drink BUT what works is taking things away from him when he is naughty like no lego /cartoon/bedtime story/ for the day or the morning or two days etc... I try not to get angry though its difficult but I find when i give him dedicated me and him time like half an hour in the morning he flourishes great... he still has mad tantrums in supermarket sometimes I go mad and say awful things and then have to say sorry to him but mostly I take him out of the supermarket and when he calms down i get down to his level and explain that because he was jumping and going mad in the sm he will not be allowed to play with his lego when he goes home etc.. it usually works sometimes I ignore certain behaviour ( whining) other times I just get him involved in what im doing he LOVES to show that hes able to do stuff like make gnocchi, sweep floor.

Yes, my four year old can count to 1,000, do long division and is fluent in three languages. Kidding, she still pees when she is mad and forgets to wipe.

I have a four year old son that has driven me to start drinking. He torments his older brother, he torments his grandmother, he argues with me when his needs are not met. I have tried to put him in time out, I have taken things away, I have cried in my bedroom of fustration, I have spanked him on the bottom. None of these things work. Now I drink.

my boy is just 3 years old last (april 2012) and he have all these 4-YEAR-OLD DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES SOCIAL SKILLS FOR 4-YEAR-OLDS, MOTOR SKILLS FOR 4-YEAR-OLDS, and LANGUAGE SKILLS FOR 4-YEAR-OLDS

My 4 year old son can count to 110, knows all his colors, and shapes. He can also do addition, subtration, and a few multipication tables. He knows how to write all his letters (big and small) and also knows their sounds. He is so smart!!! He is also an only child so that probably helps with the intelligence. He is also very active with other children and we hardly ever have any problems with not sharing or harsh language. But recently he has started to talk back. After correcting him once he usually tends to stop but it bothers me that is happens in the first place. Also, he lies. Sometimes he will hide something behind his back and say he doesn't have it. I will tell him I know it is behind his back and he continues to argue saying it isn't. Also, he made up a story about being punched on the bus which got another kid in trouble. We thought he was telling the truth but the truth was... it was all a lie. We made him apologize to the bus driver, teacher, other student, and the student's parents. However, he still contiues to make up stores... UGH!!!

Our four year old little girl is very smart, funny, loves to learn play and laugh. She is a great big sister, super helpful and patient with her younger sister...however she turns into a monster when it comes time to take her nap. She gets really whiney and obnoxious :-/ when we start taking things away or threatening punishments it gets worse. She usually does well with explanations but at that point, there is no reasoning. I have tried ignoring her (tantrum worsens) Reasoning with her (everything is "Noooooo"), talking to her firmly. I usually have to give her a spankin to stop the craziness. What am I doing wrong?? There has got to be a better way to deal with her when she gets like this. I don't want to have to go through this every nap time.