Your 3-year-old: Development, behavior and parenting tips

Aug 28, 2012 11:00 AM by Beth Stewart

Posted in Parenting / Parenting Tips & Advice / Child Development & Health

Parenting Feisty 3-Year-Olds

Most people agree that raising a child is not an easy task. We parents don't get issued a rulebook or guidelines which guarantee raising a happy child into a well-balanced adult. Parents of young children almost always worry now and then about their parenting skills but if you are aware of what to expect from your 3-year-old as far as development, milestones and normal behavior go, you'll both enjoy that journey to 4.

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3-year-old survival tips

Choose your battles. Priorities will be safety issues like climbing or going near the stove. Supervision is essential to prevent injuries as your child isn't able to anticipate the consequences of his actions. At 3, traffic is a huge concern for a parent.

"Encourage your child to take turns and share toys."

Encourage your child to take turns and share toys. When he cries because he is told he can't have another cookie, well that's something he will have to learn to get over. If these demanding personality traits are squelched entirely, a child may diminish himself in order to please. However, if these qualities are monitored but encouraged, these seemingly unpleasant characteristics develop into admirable strengths like determination, assertiveness and self-confidence later in life.

Provide new words to him in order to expand his vocabulary. He will spend most of his waking hours asking why? This can happen hundreds of times each day. This can be very challenging, so keep your answers simple.

If you believe that your child is gifted, speak to your pediatrician who can refer you to testing specialists.

Parenting the stubborn 3-year-old

Robert Needlman, a medical doctor and expert on the website www.drspock.com says, "While a few very laid-back and agreeable preschoolers are happy to go along with whatever his parents want, most young children want what they want, when they want it! A child who is temperamentally persistent, who also feels well-loved and well listened to, might well develop an unpleasant habit of stubbornness."

Read about toddler tantrums: why they have them and how to stop them >>

Needlman continues, "But this habit not only makes them less pleasant to be around, it also makes the children less happy. They spend a lot of time fussing and demanding, but aren't satisfied because what they want is the control, rather than the particular thing they are demanding. The answer to this is for parents to assert control in all areas, except those that they intend their young children to be able to make choices about. Little children can make little choices."

Heather Holden, mother of a busy 3-year-old says, "The biggest challenge is allowing Isabelle to grow in her independence but balance that with appropriate discipline when needed. I set boundaries and she is given choices so that her decision-making can improve."

"Let your preschooler know you're proud of his new independence and creativity."

Her husband Kris says that his biggest challenge is being patient. He says, "You want to do what's right for them but it may not be what they want to do. I give her choices when possible and make her feel like she is in control so there is less of a power struggle over other things."

Let your preschooler know you're proud of his new independence and creativity. Give him choices whenever possible so that he learns to make decisions. As he becomes more responsible in making his own decisions you can give him more control. Above all, the 3-year-old needs to feel love and security while learning and developing. Your 3-year-old is at a precious and magical stage of development. Enjoy the journey!

What's up for next year? Read about your 4-year-old's development >>

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Tags: age 3 child development preschooler toddlers

Comments

Comments on "Your 3-year-old: Development, behavior and parenting tips"

I have a 3 1/2 year old, who when it is only myself and her in the house, is mostly well behaved, the minute anybody else steps in the house, normally grandparents or friends, she says NO, and throws herself on the floor, and it can take ages before she will go near anybody!, if anybody has experienced the same, or can give me any tips, please let me know, as it is very embarassing, and ruins social ocassions, we have tried ignoring it, but that doesnt seem to make any difference, she quite often tells them to go hom.

hi ive recently gained a residence order of my 3 year old grandson with court orders that he goes to see his birth mother twice a week at the start everything was ok he,d go with his mum but recently he wont go he crys and gets really distressed and wont go with her anyone got any ideas to what I can do im at my wits end I hate having to leave him crying

My 3 year old girl is sweet, but whenever we say no to what she wants, she is out of control. When i am there, she will just stick with me, but when im not around, she seems to socialize with other adults. She refuses to play with new kids, but she loves her cousins. She doesnt speak much language like other 3 year old kids, but she uses alot of body language. She understand our instructions clearly and follow them like throw this in the bin. Take the bottle on the table. How to make her talk more and play with other kids? How to reduce that tantrums? I cried the whole night when I searched on google and they say if kids at this age dont play with other kids may lead to autism. A bit relief to see many parents have similar issues.

I have a 3 yr old who is very smart. Smarter than my son at the same age and very imaginative. Her best friends are her stuffed animals and me when I haven't made her mad for not giving her something. She doesn't like loud sounds but she is very loud. Lol she still can go into fit mode when she doesn't feel like she is in control but I get through it with patience and prayer. What I have realized is that kids go through stages just like Frued predicted even though I am not to fawn of him. When my son wasn't progressing in speech like he should have been I needed help. Know that if you alone can't handle it that there is help out there. There beginning is so important that it takes Grandma, grandpa, teachers, pastors, close friends, family, other children and the rest of the world to help raise a child. Social skills, independence, language skills, motor skills and so much more help lead our children to self actualization when they grow up and sometimes it does takes an Army and a whole lot of patience. Our kids are not perfect and sometimes we can get jealous when someone's else's child is behaving better than our owns. There is so much that you can do as a parent until you realize that maybe my child needs more than me to raise him or her. I say don't be afraid to seek help, dont be afraid to lean on family, don't be quick to let someone diagnose your child with a disorder, don't be quick to lay a hand and don't forget about God for those that are religious. I am still learning myself and have to take a deep breath a lot but I also have a lot of love for my baby or toddler or sometimes think she is grown woman child. Lol I also give lots of hugs cause they usually help when I get frustrated. I had to stop writing about 3 times cause I had to give her peanut butter on a spoon, help her with the clock on ABC mouse, turn the tv down cause it was too loud, help her build a pillow castle and more. Lol Sometimes we just got to smile our way through it.

it's natural for a child around this age to touch their private areas. they are growing and learning about new things every day. i dont understand how anyone could really be concerned about this more than the fact that up until full term schooling, the people commenting on herd are the primary educators for these children, and whilst you proclaim your children to be advanced with counting etc, half of you spell terribly and saying a child knows "the alphbet" is a shameful thing to say. lol

Grace I had to read ur comment twice as I could NOT believe you said you are severely beating your child so I think yes you do need help not so much for your sons learning but for your anger management... This would be a start if you let your health advisor know about this As its obvious to me you both need help..one more beat to your poor son could go to far! I also have a 3 yr old son but god forbid me if I ever thought of hitting him x

Our 3 year old is highly imaginative and loves playing games where he is one of the characters of a television series. Lately he has started saying he's Rachel. She is an adult family friend who he has met a few times. This has gone on now for a few weeks and we are a little concerned. We have ignored it, played along with it but wonder is his obsession with being a person of the opposite part of normal play?

What the heck grace, why would you beat your kid severely? I can't believe you would write that!

Hello. My 3 yr old son is too friendly. He talks to anyone on the street or in the mall he talks to any stranger. If i yell at him he yells back. m worried . the other problem is when he meets kids his age he starts pushing them and hurting them does not listen to me or my husband. what should i do. pls help

We have a 3yr old daughter that will not listen at all. She runs away in public wherever we go. She always talks back, cops an attitude over everything, tells us she doesn't loves us and hurts the dog. No matter what punishment she gets, it doesn't matter. She acknowledges what she has done wrong and then continues to do it again but worse...it makes no sense?!?! We are out of options and wife is past her wits end.....what do we do? We need help!!!!

Hello i have a 3yr old boy and a 11mnths old baby boy. my 3yr old is out of conrol i.ve tryed the naughty sit it doesnt work he kicks n hits n bites n yells at me he never listens to me and his hurting his brother my 3yr old doesnt talk much as well i take the kids to the beach an parks nearly every day my 3yr old son doesnt listen i feel like iam going crazy he wont sleep at a good time please help me people say take him out during the day i do that but he still acts up an beens naughty please help

I have three and s half year old twins girl boy I'm really having having a real bad time with my son he just screams kicks pinches me and tells me I'm stupid I feel like I'm going nuts my daughter is do different a good girl mo complains. Is this a twin thing or something not right

I'm rasing twin boy's 3yr old, one is so unhappy and just dose everything to make us feel, like we have to jump for him, ppl say hi to him he gives them dirty looks, thay try to hug himi he pushs them away, His parents are both on drugs, Deep down i know he wants to be with them, he can't, what do I do?

I have a 3 and a half year old girl, I dont know what to do anymore, I am a divorced mum she visits her father every second weekend, and when she comes back she is uncontrolable, in her first school i didn have problems with her at all, but due to finances we had to move so she needed to go to a new school, i have had problems ever since she started at the school up to a point where her father insisted on having her tested for ADHD, she was tested and the Dr. said that it is possible, i got a second opinion, i send her for an MRI scan and it came out clean, the poor child has been on and of Ritalin in the past couple months, ive moved her to a new school because she became very violent at her old school, where she hit another girl with a toy and broke the lil girls tooth, after that she strangled a boy because he hit her in the face, i dont see an improvement or diffrence whether she is on the meds or not, is this a normal behaviour? or am i doing something wrong? i am a very strict parent and she does have a strict routine at home. Help, i dont know what to do anymore....

My 3 yr old Daugther is very cranky specially in my absence and she could very well observe that i am in croud and now i can ask my parents something which they will not refuse to give in this situation. She ignores any instruction given to her , some times she looks for silly reasons to cry.

My 3 year old granddaughter has become very independent, insists most times doing things herself. This is great. She consistently puts her shoes on the wrong feet. We thought she was coming out of her temper tantrums but they are back. Mother has a boyfriend. He appears to be softspoken but insists on disciplining by spanking. Mother is a yeller and squeezes daughters arms and legs if she misbehaves. I do not condone this behaviour of her mothers. What can I do? My husband and I treat granddaughter differently with respect. There is always a tantrum and procrastination when it is time for granddaughter to go home. She calls her mother stupid and spits at her. Daughter thinks I am the one causing this behavior. What to do?

My 3 year old grandson is back sliding so much lately was almost potty trained now lots of accidents,we tried him in preschool last month he cant go back to many accidents. He is very active and just bounces off the walls most of the day. He has been stuttering for about 4 months sometimes its almost gone then other days its very difficult to hear him struggle. He goes and goes all day won't take a nap and by bedtime ready to collapse. His eating habits have been going down to use to eat everything no questions now picky...by the end of the day my daughter and I are so happy when he finally gives up and will relax and fall asleep. Love him very much and hate to see him struggle with the stuttering and just strong willed behavior. Glad to see here we aren't alone..good luck to you all!

I am at my wits end with one of my 3 year old twins. They are boy girl twins, the girl is fine but my son is stubborn beyond belief. I have just collected him from ore school and yet again they have had problems with him. They ask him to change his shoes and put on his jacket and he point blank refuses. He just sits and smiles at them and won't do it. It isn't because he can't do it he just won't. It was considered that it he's a attention seeking so they tried ignoring his behaviour but this isnt working either. He is the same at home. He is told to do something or told to stop doing something and he just smiles at you and continues or ignores you all together. I have tried everything and don't know what to try next. Either do nursery.

@karen stop the candy sweets he will eat when hungry dont sacrifice sweets for food he will bounce to 2am otherwise be persistat put him back to bed even if you do it 100 times he will learn in time its bedtime does he eat at school

My 3 year old son is very stuborn, its either his way or nothing, he doesnt very much like to go to school but verysmart, he treats his 6 months sister as if she is an object , help