How To Start Dating Again

Once your divorce was final, after having endured alimony, child support and custody issues you proclaimed that you'd sworn off all men and were content to live a life in blissful solitude. However, now that several months have passed, those dating pool waters don't seem quite as murky and you're feeling ready to take the plunge and find that love connection that eluded you the first time around.

Even though you're pretty much ready... just thinking about going on a first date makes you feel jittery -- and the fact that you've got a few kids in tow is adding to your case of cold feet. Well, check out these seven dating tips for single moms that will help you to get back in the dating game with a renewed sense of confidence.

1Go online

According to Dr. Pepper Schwartz, chief relationship expert at PerfectMatch.com, online dating web sites offer single moms a great venue to put themselves back out in the dating market. And the fact that it can be done during naps, school time, or late at night, accompanied by a cup of hot tea or a glass of wine makes it pretty time effective, too!

>> 4 Online dating sites for single moms

2Enlist your married friends to help you find love

Whether it's inviting you to an old-fashioned dinner party or helping you set up your online dating profile, Dr. Schwartz believes married friends are the perfect people to help you do something on behalf of your romantic future. It's easy to lose your nerve or just want to go relax after work, but if you enlist your friends in your romantic quest, they won't let you off the hook that easily. And don't let them off the hook either. When pressed, people know many more eligible people than they think they do! (Check out the top 10 cities for single moms to date, according to a 2011 survey by Match.com.)

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3Learn more about yourself, and what you need in love

If you've been out of the dating world for a long time, it's important to take some time and get to know yourself and your needs better, notes Dr. Schwartz. Learning more about yourself will help you get a greater understanding of what you want at this stage of your life and with whom you'd ultimately share compatibility.

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4Develop a dating action plan

According to Dr Paulette Kouffman Sherman, author of Dating from the Inside Out and director of My Dating School in Manhattan, single moms should take consistent action towards their goal of meeting someone. They should make it a point to get childcare once or twice a week, during which time they should attend singles events or set up online dates. They should also put the word out to everyone they know that they're ready to find a great mate.

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5Take a class

It can be a win-win to take a class that you love and to meet new people in the process, says Kouffman Sherman. Since single moms are always giving to others, it can be rewarding to do something fun every week that's just for them and get out of the house and mingle with other adults.

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6Look for other single moms to lend support

Dr Kouffman Sherman advises single moms to create their very own single mom support network. Attending single events together and trading off sharing babysitting duties will give them an opportunity to not only go out more often, but will also help them stay focused on their romance goals.

>> How to improve your dating life

7Talk to your child

If your kids are old enough, Kouffman Sherman says it's important to let them know that even though you go out sometimes to meet friends, you are always available by phone and they are still your priority. Single moms should only introduce their child to dates when it becomes exclusive and serious. Otherwise it can become confusing for a child to have a carousel of potential suitors to meet and they may get attached and disappointed when it does not work out.


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Tags: alimony child support custody

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Comments

Comments on "7 Dating tips for single moms"

soon to be a single mom June 18, 2010 | 5:15 PM

after 20 yrs of marriage... i will be single. not sure i know how to be since i've been "married" for so long. all i know is what i've been doing - loving/nurturing my children. not sure i know how to be both mother and father to my two daughters. i do want to find one day that man who will love me for who i am and will accept me... i just don't know if there is such a man out there who still believe in the old fashioned love, and is not married or taken.

Chase January 04, 2010 | 2:55 PM

Hi, I am a single mom that has been out of the dating relm for a while. And now that I am back out their I seem to run into guys that are married or living with someone. What is it about me that attracts these type of men?

cayley March 28, 2009 | 6:08 AM

hi, my names cayley and my parents have just gone through a pretty rough divorce and im not always there to hangout with my mom she always has guys hitting on her she just dosent date. i really want her to get back in the dating world i just dont know how to get her there.

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