For most moms-to-be, pregnancy is dotted with forays into maternity-wear and trips to the OB-GYN. And for many first time moms-to-be, it also means time for a baby shower and all the corny shower games and cute diaper cakes that come along with it. But the second time around? Not so much. Baby showers for second time moms are sometimes unnecessary and often eschewed. But families and friends still look for ways to celebrate moms without the toilet paper belly wrapping and baby bingo.
Cocktails and conversation
While the first time around, it was all about cutesy ducks and pretty boats, the second baby and beyond can be a time to let loose and enjoy life (responsibly, of course).
"I had my third baby in May. My sister and brother in law threw my husband and I a cocktail (mocktails for me!) party in our honor to celebrate baby number three. It was great because, since we already have kids, we rarely get to go out kid free and meet up with all of our friends, also without kids in tow. We also rarely have an occasion to dress up, etc.," said Shannon Choe. "My husband and I decided to make a night of it. We hired an overnight baby sitter and got a hotel room in the city. After the cocktail party we returned to our room and enjoyed watching TV and sleeping in the next morning. We had in-room massages and enjoyed a leisurely, fantastic brunch at the hotel restaurant. It was a blast!"
For Rae Dawn Hadinger, president of Sidebar Legal Recruiting, the request she recently received from a friend was a "dessert and wine" shower. "There will be absolutely no baby games, only good friends, sweets and wine (along with some sparkling non-alcoholic beverages). Baby gifts are, however, still welcome. What this second time mom-to-be wanted more than anything was a little time for herself to relax and enjoy an evening with the girls at this kid-free event," said Hadinger.
For the mom-to-be who is already a mom, time is at a premium. Taking time to get away for a day or a weekend can be a great way to unwind and relax before baby makes her appearance.
"When my best friend and writing partner, Heather, was expecting her second baby, I planned a day trip for a group of five women. We headed to a spa destination in the Wine Country where we all got massages and the group treated Heather to a pregnancy massage," said Whitney Moss, co-author of The Rookie Mom's Handbook.
For other moms-to-be and their friends, getting away overnight is the way to go. When Angela Moore's friend was expecting her sixth child, her friends whisked her away. "We had a girls trip to Cabo that was a 'baby shower' and we had a ball! It was basically a good excuse for a girls trip," says Moore of Starfish P.R.
Welmoed Sisson knew she didn't need anything for baby number two, since she still had everything she'd need. So when her playgroup friends wanted to throw her a baby shower, she requested a 'shelter shower.' Guests brought new and gently-used for moms and babies, but instead of going to Sisson, the items were donated to an area shelter.
"My friends really came through; we had dozens of bags of baby clothes, plus high chairs, car seats, toys and lots of other things. The donations were much appreciated by the shelter, which was always faced with a need for such things," said Sisson.