Back to Work: What Coworkers Say to New Moms

May 29, 2008 10:17 AM by Sarah W. Caron

Posted in Parenting / Super Moms Guide / Super Moms Guide: Money & Career

It's My Party

I won't lie to you: Going back to work after having a baby is a gut-wrenching experience. You have a small, helpless infant whom you likely are entrusting into the care of a stranger. And just when you come to terms with that, you have well-meaning coworkers saying all the wrong things . . .

Co-workers at the Office Cooler
With my first son, I couldn't bear the thought of going back to work and leaving him. So I didn't. Instead, I stayed home for a year. But with my daughter, that just wasn't an option, so back to work I went.

I found that going back was something best done without thinking about it - rather than stress about it, I just dropped the kids off, made sure they were comfortable and went on my way.

In the office, I was greeted at work with a warm, excited response. Everyone said that they were thrilled to see me back. There were hugs and well wishes and requests to see the baby . . . but as an emotional new mom, it's easy to read too far between the proverbial lines.

What they said

Coworkers are good at saying just the wrong thing. Here's a few comments you might face, as well as some responses you can be ready with.

Are you glad to be back?

You want to say: Of course not!

Real potential answer: It's not bad. It's nice to have adult company and conversations. But don't freak if I slip a goo-goo into conversation.

Was it hard to come back?

You want to say: Are you kidding? What do you think?

Real potential answer: Well, leaving your child is never easy.

Did you miss work?You want to say: I gave birth, took care of an infant and watched infinite amounts of addicting daytime dramas for the past three months. Definitely not.

Real potential answer: Work is a fun challenge, so it's nice to be able to do it again.

I could never have left my baby when he/she was this young.

You want to say: Thanks for the guilt trip.

Real potential answer: I know what you mean, it's not easy. But with the economy the way it is, it's a choice of return to work or go without food.

You must be so sad. How are you holding up?

You want to say: Are you trying to upset me?

Real potential answer: It's not easy, but I am doing okay so far. Thanks.

We got along fine while you were gone, but it's nice to have you back.
You want to say: What? So, I am not necessary anymore?

Real potential answer: That's good to hear. I'm glad to be back. What can I help with so that the duties are more evenly distributed again?