Reason No. 1,323,497 why online celebrity death hoaxes are definitely vile: Jeff Goldblum's mom, Shirley, read one and thought she'd lost her son for good.
The actor and ridiculously handsome dad visited Watch What Happens Live today and revealed that once upon a time (the prehistoric era of 2009), some of his loved ones believed he had perished after someone posted a fake story on the internet.
"Somebody had put online that I'd fallen off a cliff in New Zealand," he said. "Before we got the word out and I could call everybody, yes, my mom. She called and was like, 'Jeffrey, are you all right? Are you all right?'"
He added that around the same time, a friend also called and "very tearfully and hysterically" left him a voicemail.
Host Andy Cohen, who's heard a lot of shocking things in his day covering reality TV, couldn't have looked more concerned as he said, "Yes, we'd all be very upset about that."
Whoever the monster is that created this lie and sent sweet, innocent Shirley into a panic, I hope you're ashamed of yourselves!
Because it's traumatizing to think of a Goldblum-less world, here's a photo of him snuggling a puppy while promoting his new film, Isle of Dogs, to make you feel better.
Of course, Goldblum can understand that fearing the loss of a child would be a devastating and heart-wrenching experience; after all, he is a dad (possibly the most dapper dad on the planet, yes?). The icon has two sons, River Joe and Charlie Ocean, with wife Emilie Livingston, and he couldn't be happier with the newest chapter in his life.
"I feel right on schedule, and I love our two boys," he told Us Weekly of becoming a new dad in his 60s. "Everything seemed to happen perfectly. I appreciate it wildly."
Of course, the couple, who married in November 2014, still finds some time to spend alone.
"We have nice people who help us, and they allow us to go on a sweet date night here and there." Jeff, if you ever need a babysitter, give us a call. We'll make sure to keep Shirley posted on all your comings and goings.
And you'll see personalized content just for you whenever you click the My Feed .
SheKnows is making some changes!