Start writing
Share this Story

Dad Actually Bores His Baby Straight to Sleep Talking About Work

Jenn is perhaps best known as the author of the popular parenting blog Breed ‘Em and Weep (2005-2012). She’s written for many magazines, newspapers and websites, including Brain, Child Magazine, Literary Mama, and The Boston Globe. Jenn’...

Probably a good sign this dad should look for a more interesting job

Kevin Payne of Cortlandt Manor, New York, should hire himself out to poor sleepless parents and their inconsolable babies. This father of two has got the magic touch. And by "magic touch," we mean that listening to him describe his job is a sleeping potion so potent, SWAT teams should keep him on staff to neutralize the most agitated bad guys.

More: Little Boy Thinks Mom's Tampons Are Batteries

Payne recently posted a hilarious video of himself holding his 5-month-old son, Carter, and telling Carter all about what daddy does for a living.

Carter, as it turns out, was less than enthralled with the details of his dad's job as a technology resiliency manager. (We would tell you what a technology resiliency manager is if we could, but we fell asleep too.)

"Hey bud," Payne starts out. "So I wanted to take a few minutes just to explain to you what I do for a living. It’s really quite exciting."

More: The Pregnancy Checklist Every Mom-to-Be Needs

Within moments, Carter's head starts to bob and his eyes begin to close.

"Hey, Hey," Panye protests. "It’s not that boring. It’s not that boring."

(Oh, but it is.)

Apparently Payne — who also has a daughter, Addy, 3 — leaves the run-of-the-mill bedtime stories to his wife, Eryn.

More: Can I Stop My Teen From Having Sex?

He told Us Weekly: "Eryn takes the more traditional route as she was blessed with a voice that doesn’t cause others to wince in pain."

Payne defends his bedtime career talks. "With two kids who are not good sleepers you try anything that will work and repeat it until it loses effectiveness!"

Our favorite part?

"If you work hard enough, you too can work on weekends," Payne tells his somnolescent son.

We laughed pretty hard at that. And then we all took a very long nap.

Comments
Hot
New in Parenting
Close

And you'll see personalized content just for you whenever you click the My Feed .

SheKnows is making some changes!

b h e a r d !

Welcome to the new SheKnows Community,

where you can share your stories, ideas

and CONNECT with millions of women.

Get Started