There are some things that are just funny to parents — and these things often wind up on Twitter, because let's face it. Once kids enter the picture, who has time to regale anecdotes to friends IRL?
Need a little LOL in your life? (Of course you do; you have kids!) Here are this week's funniest tweets from parents.
Me: *stares at wall for an hour*— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) January 10, 2017
Kids: *play quietly by themselves*
Me: *starts doing literally anything*
What I say: Please go get ready for bed— Karen Johnson (@21stcenturysahm) January 10, 2017
What my kids hear: Run around upstairs & wrestle until you're bleeding or unconscious
Me: Ready for school?— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) January 10, 2017
7yo: [in only underwear with pants tied around his neck like a scarf & a sock on each hand] Almost
Nothing makes me more suspicious than when my kids are playing quietly.— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) January 8, 2017
Sorry I'm two days late. My kids had to "do it themselves."— Misanthropic Dad (@snotnboogers23) January 8, 2017
My favorite weekend Mom Hobby: Ruining my kids' lives by asking them to put away their own laundry.— Wendy S. (@maughammom) January 7, 2017
Parenthood is basically unclogging toilets and saying where are your shoes.— Karen Johnson (@21stcenturysahm) January 7, 2017
"It takes a village" is just a nice way of saying you're going to need lots of places to buy wine.— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) January 10, 2017
One of the fun parts of parenthood is telling your kid that calamari is squid while their mouth is full of it.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 10, 2017
My toddler eats with her right hand but is ambidextrous when it comes to total destruction.— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) January 7, 2017
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