Parenting ain't easy, which is exactly why things like wine, chocolate and Twitter were invented. From refereeing board games to constantly happening upon naked children, check out this week's funniest tweets from parents. Then pour yourself a glass of wine, will ya? You deserve it.
What I say: Eat the whole thing.— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) October 31, 2016
What my kid hears: Eat the whole thing in one bite. Gag. Spit it out. End of dinner. Go play with cars.
Every threat I make after Halloween ends like this, "...OR I'M GONNA THROW ALL YOUR CANDY IN THE TRASH!" But, of course, I mean eat it.— Close to Classy (@closetoclassy) November 1, 2016
If you like having people touching you while you work, eat, sleep, and try to pee, then kids are definitely the answer.— Meredith (@PerfectPending) October 30, 2016
Take the road less traveled. Like, the one with the most mud, or the wettest grass, even if there’s a sidewalk nearby.— Jennifer White (@yenniwhite) October 31, 2016
wife [showing me pictures she took of the kids at the dinosaur park]— Josh (@iwearaonesie) October 31, 2016
me: Where are the pictures of the dinosaurs?
OH SHIT WE NEED TO LEAVE FOR SOCCER IN 5 MINUTES & YOU'RE NAKED EXCEPT FOR ONE SOCK— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) October 29, 2016
- every parent everywhere on Saturday mornings
I am not refereeing Candy Land! I do not care who picked Princess Frostine's card!— Karen Johnson (@21stcenturysahm) November 1, 2016
-soundtrack to my life
My mom sent me to the beach in the bed of my neighbor's truck. I just saw a mom get shamed for not using organic cloth diapers, 2016 is fun.— Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 30, 2016
If you think taking candy from a baby is easy, you've never endured the wrath of a resulting three hour temper tantrum.— Twin Dad (@TwinSurvivalist) October 30, 2016
Me: What do you want for breakfast?— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) November 1, 2016
Me: Too much sugar. You need this healthy-
*reads back of cereal box*
Me: Just eat candy.
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