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5 breastfeeding athletes I’m waiting to see

Claire Zulkey wonders when she'll ever get used to the idea that she has two boys. She is the author of two books for young people, An Off Year and Best Frenemies. She and her filmmaker husband live in Evanston, IL. You can find out more...

I won’t be impressed by breastfeeding athletes until I see the following scenarios

Breastfeeding athletes have been breaking the internet lately. Last week, a mom pumped while running a half-marathon in Utah. This week, a hockey-playing mom made waves when she breastfed her child rink-side.

"My pre-game routine is a little different these days."

Posted by Breastfeeding Mama Talk on Sunday, September 25, 2016

More: 26 signs you're a breastfeeding mama (and proud of it)

Sure, those ladies are pretty inspirational, for being dedicated enough to give their babies breast milk while still pursuing the athletic endeavors they enjoy. But maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to praise them. After all, the runner was only pumping, while the hockey player actually had to step off the ice to feed her child. I won’t be impressed until I see the following scenarios:

  • The figure-skating mom who is able to nail a triple axel with a child at her breast (the baby also needs to be wearing an outfit that coordinates with the mom’s, but isn’t too matchy-matchy).
  • The Olympic swimmer who can breaststroke while breastfeeding, but who can also successfully down anyone who tries to make any sort of pun about what type of stroke she’s doing because swimming while breastfeeding is a serious achievement and will not be diminished by tomfoolery.
  • The yogi who can breastfeed in a headstand position and the baby is also in a headstand. Namaslay, Mama.
  • The mom who only breastfeeds while she’s in plank position and her baby is laying on its back on the floor. Her core is, like, whoa.
  • The pumping pro tennis player who is able to nab a design deal from Nike and totally change the landscape of fashionable pumping-friendly on-court style. By the time she is retired and the baby is weaned, her baby has also earned its own endorsement deal.
  • The ultra-marathoner who runs two back-to-back marathons and breastfeeds a different child every mile (that’s 52.4 babies if you’re doing the math).

More: Moms' raw breastfeeding photo series is anything but glamorous

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

I won’t be impressed by breastfeeding athletes until I see the following scenarios
Image: Ivette Ivens
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