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This baby shower cake is not for the faint of heart (or stomach)

Theresa Edwards


Shark Wrestler

Theresa Edwards is a freelance writer and professional whiner. She lives in Dallas, Texas with her family where she enjoys reading, roller derby, and complaining about the heat.

The most NSFW cake you've ever seen was served at a baby shower

Baby showers don't necessarily deserve the eye-rolly bad rap they get. Sure, most of them are dry affairs, but it's a great way to hook a mom-to-be up with some baby essentials, and really, there's never a reason to not eat cake. And if there's one thing you know you can expect at a baby shower, it's some delicious cake, like that cake in the picture up there.

The cake we're about to show you is not like that cake in the picture up there. The cake we're about to show you wants to punish your eyeballs, and you probably should avoid scrolling any farther if you either have a weak constitution or are at the office right now. That's because the cake we're about to show you is not safe for work. Really, it's not even safe for life.

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The cake in question is the natural evolution of the "baby emerging from vagina" cake idea that's gotten so popular lately. But if you're hoping for adorable licorice pubes and lovingly sculpted fondant labia, you've come to the wrong place. Are you ready? Probably not, but too bad:

Happy Monday! If we're being honest, this is kind of an awesome cake idea. I mean, yes, it is incredibly realistic, particularly around that goopy area and near the chunks, and yeah, that baby looks extremely pissed off and ready to do something drastic. But this cake is on a boat.

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That, of course, is according to the photographer that posted the picture to Facebook and joked about being concerned about making it off of said boat and back to the mainland in one piece, given the rowdy atmosphere of the baby shower.

Frankly we're pleased that this is the slimy new face of baby showers. With the right friends, you won't have to sit awkwardly on a too-small couch and paste a deranged smile on your face while your pregnant buddy unwraps onesie after onesie and you wait for the cake part to happen. The old baby shower is dead. Long live the new, graphic, vagina cake-inclusive baby shower!

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Of course, you can't just pull off a cake like this wherever, whenever. It's inadvisable, for instance, that you would present such a confection at a country club event where your mother-in-law is present. Unless you hate your mother-in-law and plan to use a disposable cake pan, sprinkle pubes and what looks like gelatinous canned produce to unmistakably assert your dominance.

Barring that, you have to really know your audience and know your friends. Are they the kind of people who would get all precious over a comically large vagina and a liquid-slick doll head next to the mini quiches? Or are they awesome?

It doesn't hurt, of course, to write a little insurance policy into the invitations like the host of this party did. According to the photographer — who also returned to the comments to reassure readers that the cake was very tasty — the invites explicitly stated that the shindig would be vagina-themed. That way, no one can act affronted when you make good on your promise.

Well done, ladies and gent!

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