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The 15 questions no preemie mom should be afraid to ask

Megan is a former divorce attorney turned SAHM to twin boys. She's written for The Stir, Scary Mommy,, Mommyish and Bustle.

When you've got a baby in the NICU, you need to speak up

No one expects to have their baby spend time in the NICU immediately following birth. But once the shock of your situation wears off and the reality of having a baby in the hospital sets in, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. Asking questions is a great way to learn about your baby's needs and to figure out what you can do to help in their care. Here are 15 questions to ask when you're the proud parent of a NICU baby.

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When you've got a baby in the NICU, you need to speak up
Image: Design via Terese Condella/SheKnows; Image via Getty Images

1. What does that term mean?

NICU doctors and nurses use medical terms all day long and can often forget that to the lay person, it sounds like they're speaking in another language. It's absolutely OK to speak up if you don't know what something means. They want you to be informed about your baby.

2. Can I sit in on rounds?

Most NICU teams have a daily meeting where they discuss your baby's prognosis, recent lab reports and next care steps. At many hospitals, parents are welcome to sit in and be part of the discussion. It's a great way to feel involved.

3. Can I hold him?

It's amazing how many parents think they can't hold their baby and how many nurses don't offer because they assume you already held them or don't want to. There are certain situations where no touching is the best option, but don't hesitate to ask if you can hold your baby, have skin-to-skin time or even attempt breastfeeding (most NICUs offer privacy screens if you'd like them).

4. What can I do to care for my baby?

Speak up if you'd like to help the NICU nurses check your baby's vitals, bathe them, feed or change them; after all, it's good practice for when Baby gets home. Most nurses have a set time when they perform these tasks — coordinate with your baby's nurse so you can be present and lend a helping hand.

5. What are the visiting hours and policies for the NICU?

Some hospitals will allow just one visitor or two, and many have strict polices regarding child visitors. The policies vary by hospital, however, so ask before anyone makes the drive to avoid disappointment.

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6. Is there free parking or reduced-fee parking for NICU parents?

Even at a few dollars a day, hospital parking can add up quickly. If there's no NICU parent option, ask about a long-term parking pass, which may offer some savings.

7. Are there overnight facilities so I can stay near my baby? If not, what is the NICU number so I can call to check on them at night?

Not every NICU parent is lucky enough to have their baby be close to home. Some hospitals have a few overnight rooms with beds and a lottery system for parents to want to stay with their babies overnight. Even if there's no free lodging, many hospitals have a reduced-rate deal with a nearby hotel or can connect you with a local non-profit that offers free accommodations in people's homes.

8. Will my baby be assigned the same nursing team for the duration of his time in the NICU?

If you form an attachment to a particular nurse, don't hesitate to ask if they can be assigned to your baby when on duty.

9. Can I bring clothes for my baby?

Once your baby gets the all-clear from the doctor, dressing them in teeny, tiny onesies is not only fun, it can help you feel more like you're a parent doing typical babycare things and not just a medical caregiver.

10. Can I bring a blanket or toys for my baby?

Some NICU parents sleep with a blanket or stuffed animal at night and ask to have it placed near or with the baby so they have their parent's scent nearby between visits.

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11. Does my baby qualify for any special services while in the NICU or once they are released?

Visiting nurses, occupational therapists or even public assistance may all be available to you once your baby is ready to graduate from the NICU and head home.

12. Are there any preemie parent support groups or services I can partake in?

Being a preemie parent can come with a range of new emotions. It can really help to connect with those who are going through or have been through the same experience.

13. Is there a place to pump and store milk?

Not every preemie mom wants to breastfeed, and even those who do may find their preemie is unable to feed from the breast. Pumping will help build up and keep your supply going until Baby is able to latch on, and often breast milk can be given to Baby via a tube.

14. Can the monitors be adjusted?

If you get alarmed any time your baby's monitors beep, ask the nurse if it's possible to direct the screens away from your line of sight while you hold and visit with your baby, so you can focus on bonding, not the beeps.

15. What is my baby's prognosis and when will they likely come home?

Knowing what health challenges may lie in store for your baby and when they'll come home can help you prepare for life after the NICU.

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