There's something weirdly satisfying about reading other parents' grievances on Twitter. Perhaps it's because it lets us know that we're not the only ones who feel like we're going crazy sometimes. (Yeah, that's definitely it.) From the joys of trying to comb kids' hair to relating math to farts, here are the most hilarious tweets from parents this week.
I was going to give up caffeine and sugar but then I remembered I have a kid. I'll try again in 18 years.— Tiffany Hunter (@lifeattiffanys) April 5, 2016
Some people call the boogers and barf on my shirt "stains." I call them war wounds.— Will (@willgoldstein) April 3, 2016
As a child watching The Jungle Book, I never imagined that the "bare necessities of life" would one day include a pre-PTA meeting margarita.— Una LaMarche (@sassycurmudgeon) April 6, 2016
My kids don't fight a lot but when they do it's always when something is going on the stove.— Jessica (@jessicaesquire) April 5, 2016
My son said some cute things today.— Court (@Discourt) April 3, 2016
"Are you having another baby? Your belly is bumpy."
"What's that red thing on your face? A zit?"
You've aced Parenting 101 when your kid finds a granola bar on the ground & yells "100 second rule" before launching it into her mouth.— Mike Reynolds (@PuzzlingPostDad) April 4, 2016
Approaching a child with a comb is a lot like approaching someone with a chainsaw.— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) April 5, 2016
Just bought a skateboard so I can skate with the boys. I'm sure my next tweet will be from my hospital bed.— The Daddy Complex (@thedaddycomplex) April 3, 2016
3-year-old daughter: Will I have a baby in my belly someday?— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 5, 2016
Me: If you want to.
3: No thanks. That's where I put my candy.
Discussing the wind speed of farts & how much momentum it'd take to push one across the room, because my kids are gross but also kinda nerdy— Wendy S. (@maughammom) April 6, 2016
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