I’ve been intentionally working on relaxing and trusting that everything will work out just fine. Soaking in lavender bath salts relieves tension in my mind and my muscles. I can meditate and breathe anywhere I can close my eyes. You’d think that I lost my job or that we’re moving across the country! Actually, my first-born child just turned 18 years old.
Relax and trust. Hmm, those two actions are already a struggle for me on a daily basis. It's not that my son is a menace or out of control. Rather, he is a blessing to all those who know him, but he's always had a facade of protection over him since he was a baby.
He's legal now. He could enlist in the army, get married, buy cigarettes or purchase a lottery ticket. In other words, he's an adult, and that's kind of scary. My control over him and his behavior is slipping, and that's kind of scary.
That line of thinking could easily escalate into a full-blown panic attack if I let it. Luckily, I don't experience a pounding heart and shortness of breath these days. Clinging to scriptures instead of worry and dread gives me the courage I need to navigate trials.
This is a temporary trial. When children are young and in school, there are grade level expectations, curriculum standards, developmental milestones and plenty of blogs and magazines to read on raising children. Now, the silence of guiding a young adult through graduation and beyond offers little solace until I remember what God has already done for me, how God has protected me, guided me and comforted me. I recall how God has redeemed me, used me for His good and brought blessings into my life from ashes.
I confidently meditate, relax and find peace in the accomplishments of the past.
I don't have a manual for how to be a mom of a young adult. I don't have the answers or insight into the future, but I've never had these things — not even when the boys were young. I realized that there's nothing mystical or dividing about my son becoming an adult. I'll face my fear, loosen my grip and walk beside him instead of over him. I'll remember to continually relax and then trust.
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