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Teyana Taylor's wild home birth story proves she's a total badass

Theresa Edwards

by

Shark Wrestler

Theresa Edwards is a freelance writer and professional whiner. She lives in Dallas, Texas with her family where she enjoys reading, roller derby, and complaining about the heat.

Singer Teyana Taylor's home birth did not go anything like she'd planned

One half of the world's cutest couple, Teyana Taylor, announced the birth of her daughter, Iman Tayla Shumpert, Jr., on Instagram yesterday, and it will simultaneously amaze you and make you super jealous.

The R & B artist and actress went from zero to full-blown labor in a matter of mere minutes, which culminated with her fiancé — NBA athlete and second half of the world's cutest couple, Iman Shumpert — catching the baby himself in the couple's bathroom. Let's just let Taylor take over from here:

On Dec 16th at 6:42am in our bathroom Junie decided she wanted to take her first breath into this world. She came out as a wonderful surprise to everyone! Not knowing I was in labor until I felt her head...it took two ten count pushes with my fiancé playing Dr and she entered this world into his bare hands! Eyes full of tears and barely able to speak to the emergency operator @imanshumpert tied a pair of red headphones around the umbilical cord and the ambulance made there grand entrance 5 min later. She opened her eyes right away, gazed into mine and never cried! He handed her to me wrapped in our bath towel and wiped her face for me to see what LOVE really is. She has blown Christmas away! Our family is complete. Her blueprint will be unmatched. Welcome Iman Tayla Shumpert Jr. Mommy carried you. Daddy delivered you. #MeetTheParents we love you baby girl

A photo posted by Jimmy Neutch (@teyanataylor) on

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Let's face it: This is the delivery we all wish we had, starting with the fact that while labor can be a strenuous hours- or even days-long event of blinding pain and foul profanity, Taylor didn't even realize she was getting ready to give birth until she felt her daughter crowning. Can you imagine if every birth began this way? The birthrate would probably skyrocket. Talk about a pain-free birth plan.

But that's not all there is to be envious about. "Two ten-count pushes" and the baby was out? In a scenario like that, there's not even really time to be freaked out about what's about to happen. This Christmas-season baby is the gift that keeps on giving. If it turns out she sleeps through the night at 2 months and cries only when she's hungry, then we'll all have to accept that Taylor and Shumpert have created some kind of superbaby.

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In all seriousness, though, this is a beautiful story, thanks in part to level-headed, already doting dad Shumpert, who not only coached his fiancée through labor, but who was so choked up after tying off the umbilical cord that he could barely talk to the 911 dispatcher.

A rushed birth can be a pretty scary thing, so it's awesome that instead of behaving badly during childbirth, Shumpert had the presence of mind to not only deliver his child but to tie off mini Iman's cord with the only thing that was handy: a pair of red Beats headphones. We're not sure what the couple did in the first hours of being new parents, but we're pretty sure it was just this, over and over again:

Singer Teyana Taylor's home birth did not go anything like she'd planned
Image: Giphy

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Baby Shumpert's name is a combination of her parents', and that's totally fitting. As Taylor herself said, "Mommy carried you. Daddy delivered you." At the end of the day, the couple not only got to experience the joy of welcoming their new baby into the world. They got a birth story to tell for years to come, with all the elements a good labor tale has: excitement, drama, a little tug at the heartstrings, abbreviated length... and a pair of Beats headphones.

Singer Teyana Taylor's home birth did not go anything like she'd planned
Image: SheKnows
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