"Don't bother listening to her the first 5,000 times. Wait until she Hulks out and her face bursts into flames." - My kids— BadParentingMoments (@BPMbadassmama) November 5, 2015
I hope my kids like the straight jackets I’m knitting them for Christmas.— So Done Mom (@Momtoteens) November 1, 2015
When you're almost out of bread and try to trick your kid by facing the heel end to the inside of the sandwich.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 5, 2015
Since I've gotten older, I've been sustaining a lot more injuries. It actually has less to do with my age than with my 5yo's mean streak.— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) November 4, 2015
my clock: you get an extra hour of sleep tonight my 5 month old: nope— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) November 1, 2015
You never know how many annoying sounds there truly are in the world until you have children.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) November 3, 2015
"Okay, you hide first, and I'll count to a million." -me, playing hide and seek with the kids— AmishPornStar (@AmishPornStar1) November 3, 2015
My son fell asleep early, so I'm going to live like I did before having kids! *cooks on front burner of the stove*— Tired Working Mom (@WorkingMom86) November 5, 2015
Why's everything sticky? -parents— Scruffy (@dixonshuman) November 4, 2015
When my kids ask about the good ol' days, I tell a story of how I used to buy nice things that didn't get ruined by crayons & markers.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) November 4, 2015
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