If you are now or ever have been the parent of a toddler, chances are that you're very familiar with the full cast of characters who inhabit Sesame Street.
Maybe a little more familiar than you'd like to be (especially when you're trying to write a grocery list and can't get that damn theme song out of your head). But what if you could get even more familiar with this lineup of wacky characters? If you lived on the Street, who would your best friend be? (Your best Muppet friend, that is. Obviously we'd all want to hang with Maria if we had the chance). Let's take a look at the options...
The obvious downside to having this guy for a BFF is that a package of Chips Ahoy is going to have an even shorter shelf life in your kitchen than it already does. But on the plus side, what could be more fun than hanging out with a big blue fuzzy ball of walking id? Cookie Monster is the friend you can binge-eat an entire pan of brownies with and not feel guilty about it. (Although you may feel irritated vacuuming up all the crumbs later.)
Oscar is mean, grumpy and never has anything nice to say about anyone. He's like a smelly Gordon Ramsay or Simon Cowell, and if you're the sort of person who has people-watching as a hobby, he has definite A+ friend potential for you.
You may be thinking, "Hey, isn't Rosita from Sesame Street bluer, furrier, and not-as-much-a-character-on-The-Walking-Dead as this?" And this is true. It is also true that GIFs of Sesame Street's Rosita do not exist on the Internet, and it is further true that this is a travesty. Someone with more computer skills than me, please remedy this situation ASAP.
Anyway: This girl is bilingual, dances and plays approximately every musical instrument known to humankind (or Muppetkind). Rosita is the kind of friend everyone deserves, one who is so cool and amazing that she makes you want to be a better person too. Even if you're thinking, "Damn it, Rosita, can you stop being so nice and so good at everything?" while you embark on your self-improvement journey.
Bert's hobbies include reading, pigeons, socks and oatmeal. This might sound unbearably dull, but think about it: Sometimes you want a friend that you can just quietly exist around. When Bert says "Netflix and chill," he literally just means "Netflix and chill." But bring your own snacks over when you show up to watch a movie in peace and quiet (unless you really like oatmeal). And be careful how you talk about the stupid bird that crapped on your windshield on the drive over, because that might be a friendship-ender.
If you like having friends with no sense of personal boundaries, and if having your life interrupted by a constant string of pranks and staring contests is your thing, then Ernie should be your go-to guy. Fair warning: He also won't tell you why he's mad at you when you guys have a falling out, because he'd rather play "guess what I'm thinking"-type games.
This guy is red, fuzzy and adorable, and constantly, constantly upbeat. Keep him around for when you need someone energetic and cheerful to go do something active with: bicycling, jogging, hiking. But steer clear when you need a listening ear. He'll listen to you, and even be sympathetic, but the problem is his unflagging optimism. Sometimes you don't want a friend to help you find the silver lining in a bad situation; you want a friend to agree with you that Chad is a lying, two-timing piece of human garbage.
Pros: can do magic, accessorizes well (wand, hair clips). Cons: that laugh. Take her shopping with you when you need something for a special occasion, but don't let her go overboard with the pink and sparkles. And for God's sake, don't say anything funny.
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