1. Isn't December enough?
A playgroup mom brought the elf on the shelf back for Christmas in July. So cute! Anyway, long story short, how do u frame an elf for murder— Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) August 19, 2015
2. Run. Just run.
*Accidentally breaks son's Lego ship *Looks left *Looks right *Runs— Father With Twins (@FatherWithTwins) August 16, 2015
3. That'll teach her.
My 5yr old's been asking for weeks to go running with me so I took her on my morning run & smoked her. She was so slow! That'll shut her up.— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) August 20, 2015
4. First rule of bouncy house: We don't talk about bouncy house.
Parenting Tip: Brass knuckles and cleats are a MUST before your child enters any birthday party bounce house.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) August 16, 2015
5. Make sure your kid isn't the smelly kid.
8yo's teacher told the class they all need to start showering every night, which means someone stinks ...Hang on, I need to go sniff my kid.— Wendy S. (@maughammom) August 21, 2015
6. Let me do some Facebook stalking first, OK, buddy?
6 wants play dates with new friends in his class. I've told him he can't do it until I've had time to pre-judge the other kids' parents.— The Meh Of It All (@TheAlexNevil) August 20, 2015
7. Deep breaths. It's their turn now.
I keep getting panic attacks and have to remind myself that it's my kids who have to go back to school this week, not me.— Goats? (@hazelmotes1) August 17, 2015
8. She has that certain something.
Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's childbirth and 3+ years of sleep deprivation and eating old chicken nuggets off paper plates.— Ashley Austrew (@ashleyaustrew) August 19, 2015
9. Please, buddy. Before sunrise.
Hang tight, I just need to run upstairs really quick and spend three hours begging my toddler to go to sleep.— Justin Guarini (@JustinGuarini) August 18, 2015
10. Never grow up.
*slowly cranks Jack-in-the-box handle while wife and daycare teacher look at their watches*— Josh (@iwearaonesie) August 17, 2015
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