While this interview is so over-the-top ridiculous it sounds made up, I do admit this kid, who talked anonymously and exclusively to Fashion Week Daily, has a lot going for himself as he details the ins and outs of his superrich existence. He spends his weekends at the Hamptons on the regular and adores it — and for good reason. Here are a few things this incredibly spoiled, unrealistic child has that I totally want.
1. Someone to charge my phone for me
This kid has a nanny to whom he holds exacting standards. "Every day she has to charge my phone to 99 percent; I don’t want to overcharge it," he says. Because we all know what a pain in the ass it is to, you know, plug in a phone and wait for it to charge.
2. No chores to do
His nanny also does the chores. All of them. "I just relax," he explains. "My nanny does everything. My friends don’t really have chores either." He says that he has never mowed a lawn, and garbage is too smelly for him to deal with. Organizing his own colognes and combs himself? Bah! No way. So yes, a nanny sounds awesome, and I totally want one. What is this relax you speak of, anyway? Sounds fun.
3. An allowance
This child — who is only 10 years of age — gets a $350 allowance every month. He says he usually spends it on food, gadgets and Starbucks. Plus, he's memorized his mother's credit card number if he wants anything over that amount, and nobody seems to care. Give me this kid's mom, and I'll be so happy I can actually buy myself some crap I want for a change.
4. A driver
This boy and most of his friends have their own Uber accounts, so they can go wherever they want whenever they want and not have to pay for it themselves. What a novel idea — riding around without having to deal with crappy drivers, gas, repairs, traffic, parking spaces… the list goes on.
5. Champagne-only affairs
In addition to rubbing elbows with celebs, this kid gets to go to pretty posh adult-only affairs. "Well, last summer, I went to Author’s Night in East where I saw Beth Stern and Giada De Laurentiis," he relates. "I got Giada to sign her cookbook, but I haven’t had my nanny try anything in it yet." I don't really care about hanging out with celebs, but there is a perk: He said there wasn't even any water served at this event — only Champagne. Who needs water anyway?
6. Never having to grow up
He says his mom promised that he'd have his nanny until he goes to college. But I have a feeling he will continue to employ help for the rest of his life, as he's never had to do anything for himself in any way, shape or form, ever (which means he won't be able to do laundry, cook, clean or take care of kids — ew). So while he remains a virtual infant, even as an adult, he won't really have to worry about it, because he'll have someone around to do all the dirty work for him anyway.
So while this kid will probably grow up to be a terrible human being, he still has a lot of awesome stuff that overworked moms, like me, would love to have. Sign me up to be an extravagant kid who literally doesn't have a care in the world.
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