SECTIONS
What would you like to know?
Share this Story
/

Terrible Teens: Am I raising lazy teenagers?

Ellen Coy is a mom to three teens and wife to a husband of many, many years, but she married young so she still thinks she's pretty hip. She's written a lot of things for a lot of places but she can't tell you where or what. Terrible Tee...

Can I get a do-over on this parenting thing?

The other day I read a parenting post on Facebook and moms were using the words "expected" and "required" when referring to their kids and I thought to myself, "Oh my God, did I do everything all wrong!?"

I am not sure that I ever expected or required anything — and I mean anything — from my kids other than that they be kind and respectful.

So now I'm thinking I totally screwed up on this whole parenting thing and I need a complete do-over.

If there were some magical fairy who could grant me this ultimate parenting do-over, here are a couple of things I would actually change:

  • I'd have them make their school lunches. Some of these amazing moms on Facebook have mentioned that their children have been making their own lunches for school since the age of 4. Yes, 4! Do children even go to school for a full day at 4 where they would need a lunch? And these moms were talking about their children making healthy lunches, complete with a sandwich, a fruit and a veggie.
  • I would teach them to do their laundry. My daughter gave me a dirty look the other day when I wanted to come into her room to forage through the mounds and search for dirty items to wash. I was inconveniencing her by getting into her space. Because I wanted to wash her laundry for her.
  • I wish I implemented a rule early on that my children make their beds or at least teach them to dig a trench so they can find their way out of their rooms in case of an emergency.
  • I'd require them to leave their phones on a charging station in the family room at night and not allow them to keep their phones in their rooms at bedtime. This is one of my biggest parenting fails and the one piece of advice I will always offer new parents if I'm asked. Do not allow your children to have their phones with them when they go to bed. Because… they will not go to sleep.

I realize most of this all of this is my fault, but I thought I was doing things right and that I was a good mom. I'm pretty sure I'm raising good children. Kind children. Respectful children. But am I also raising lazy, thoughtless children who will not be well-prepared to care for themselves when they get out into the real world? This is my real worry. And it's all my fault. I have done this to them and at the ages they are now, is it too late to teach them anything different?

And what if they raise my grandchildren to be lazy too?

Just what I wanted. But then again, it will be a nice "payback" for me!

More on Terrible Teens

Terrible Teens: My daughter is obsessed with her appearance
Moms of little ones, make love now!
Sibling rivalry gets weird when your kids start dating

Comments
Hot
New in Parenting
Close

And you'll see personalized content just for you whenever you click the My Feed .

SheKnows is making some changes!