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20 Things moms should know before they have kids

Jill Smokler is the New York Times bestselling author of Confessions of A Scary Mommy and Motherhood Comes Naturally as well as the owner all things Scary Mommy.

Once you become a mom you realize that other moms really are your best resource for information, guidance and confirmation that you are not going insane.

Here are 20 bits of advice, from moms who've been there, that we wish someone had told us before we had kids.

1. It's OK to admit motherhood isn't fun, that you're exhausted and that you resent your husband because he gets to go out into the world while you wipe noses and butts for a living.

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2. Not breastfeeding will not kill your baby, regardless of whether your friends make you feel otherwise.

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3. Don't sweat the small stuff, and unless your child has a serious illness, it's all small stuff.

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4. Take the time to shower. Every single day.

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5. Remember: They will always stop crying... eventually.

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6. You don't need a Diaper Genie or a wipe warmer.

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7. Sometimes you'll feel like throwing them out of a window. And that's OK, as long as you don't actually do it.

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8. Don't compare yourself to others. All you can be is the best mother you can be.

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9. Put the baby in his or her "nice clothes." Who cares if they get dirty? Save your favorite outfits and your baby may grow too quickly to ever wear them.

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10. Don't judge other parents. They have no idea what they are doing either.

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11. Take videos of your kids. Pictures are great, too, but video captures the moment in a way photos can't.

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12. Get out of the house while they're in the infant seat. That’s the easiest it's ever going to be.

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13. Don't take things too seriously. You won't completely screw up your kids if they miss a vegetable, a bath, fall asleep in their clothes or get away with things once in a while.

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14. Nobody else knows what's best for your baby.

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15. Let them get messy. That's what baths are for.

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16. Take time to refuel... It's not selfish to take care of yourself.

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17. Pick your battles. Sometimes it's not worth the fight.

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18. Parenthood is defined by extremes: Extreme happiness, extreme frustration, extreme love, extreme guilt... learn to let go, breathe and try to find the happy in each day.

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19. The parents who look like they have it all together are almost always a bigger mess than you.

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20. You're doing a great job. Relax.

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