Cue the overdramatic eye rolls and "But Moooooom" objections. Seriously, you'd think you actually asked them to scrub the floors with a toothbrush or something. Is it really so much to ask that they tidy their room just enough to make it believable you weren't burgled last night? You half expect them to break into "It's a Hard Knock Life."
First you tell them it's time to go to bed and then you ask them to brush their teeth on top of that? Is there any end to the unfair demands you make?
Judging by the exasperation on their faces, it must be totally unreasonable to ask your kids to pick up the minefield of toys littering the living room.
They'll like it, you say. Just give it a try, you say. Alas, your attempts to be the kind of paleo mom who feeds her kids a totally clean breakfast are foiled by the stares of disdain on your kids' faces. As far as they are concerned, you're serving them hot mush.
The horror! The cruelty! Clearly, you are a dark overlord and the barber is your minion. Whatever it is he wants to do to your child's head is an unholy act. Or, if you believe the screaming and tears that inevitably ensue when that child is a toddler, it is pure torture. You're a mean, mean momma.
Obviously you do not have their best interest at heart and this is simply another ploy to ruin their life.
We'd love nothing more than an emotional exchange in which our babies give us the kind of sweet, smothery kisses they used to offer up so willingly. But we'd settle for a hug around the neck and an "I love you, Mom." In your kids' minds? You're totally pulling a tyrannical (not to mention embarrassing) "I love you, Miss Hannigan" moment.
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