This is a simple, easy-to-remember formula. I think of it as the ASK system.
Now that you have the simple ASK system for getting your message across, what do you do if they just don't want to comply? Here are a few tips for coaxing kids into compliance.
Give them a choice. For example, say, "You can come to the dinner table now, or you can sit in the corner for five minutes. It's your choice."
Give them fair warning. For example, say, "We will be leaving in five minutes" or 'If you throw that toy again, I will take it away."
Use the "when... then" approach. For example, say, "When you've brushed your teeth, then I'll read you a story."
Create rhyming rules. These are easy to remember and less confrontational, and kids like them. At our place, reading glasses have to be "in the case or on your face."
Be positive. Rather than telling the child what you don't want, tell him or her what you do want. For example, say, "Please take your shoes off" instead of "No shoes in the house."
Consider natural consequences. When my daughter refuses to get dressed, I just shrug and tell her she can go to school in her pajamas. It's her choice.
The golden rule, and you've probably heard this before, is to follow through on any stated consequences. If you say she's going to school in her pajamas, then she's going in her pajamas. You can always pack school clothes for her to change into later.
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