We asked dating and relationship expert Julie Spira, founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and author of the bestseller The Perils of Cyber-Dating, how to banish those quiet moments when you just don't know what to say to your date. Her advice? Lighten up. "No one wants a date to feel like an interview or a deposition. It's an instant buzz-kill to be interrogated, so I recommend a cheat-sheet of questions to talk about that make your dating conversation fun."
Amber Soletti, dating expert/matchmaker and co-founder of two popular NYC dating services OnSpeedDating.Com and SingleAndTheCity.Com, has observed thousands of singles go on first dates. "Through years of dating and observing daters I've been able to really gauge what works and what to avoid when it comes to conversation."
"Life is too short for there to be taboo 'first-date' subjects," says Soletti. "I say put it all out there so as not to waste time. Talk about topics of substance. Politics, religion, sexual preferences, everything you were always told not to talk about on a first date are the conversations which will really enable you to see if you're going to be compatible with and potentially connect with a person in the long run. Why wait till the third or fourth date to find out that you don't see eye to eye on major, 'deal-breaker' topics?"
Rather than sticking to the basic, run-of-the-mill "Where are you from? What do you do, Where do you live?" line of questioning, Soletti suggests mixing it up with open-ended, fun, flirty questions that allow you to gain more depth and understanding of your date.
"A little competition is healthy for a relationship, especially a new one," says Soletti. "It will help you gauge how smart, creative, competitive, collaborative and most importantly, what type of winner or loser your date is. It also creates the good type of 'sexual tension' that will secure you a second date."
Do you have go-to questions you like to ask your dates to spice up the date? Tell us in the comment section below.
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