Finally, no more guessing! Learn how to read between the lines and pick up on all those subtle signs that say your man is actually a real keeper.
According to Rick Ellis, CEO of ChainDate.com, anyone can put on a show on a first or second date, but eventually, his or her true colors will come out. "Be mindful of the little things," he advises. "For instance, is he paying attention to the server at the restaurant and asking questions politely, or is he being dismissive and uninterested? Girls will typically only care about how the guy treats her. However, the way he treats others around him (when it’s not for show) might say even more about who he really is."
One easy way to find out if he’s a good guy? Cook dinner for him, and see if he offers to clean up, recommends Lynn Berger, a career and personal counselor based in New York City. "Wait a few minutes at the table after eating, and if he hasn’t budged, make a subtle suggestion for him to help and heed his response," she says. Clearly, the guy who happily lends a hand is a keeper.
Another quick test to "gauge his goodness" is to ask him to assist you with a work project. "Women who are in a relationship with a man who supports them professionally are happier and more fulfilled," points out Berger.
Matchmaker, dating coach and owner of LA-based company Cupid For Hire, Marla Martenson, says any guy who uses the word "we" in his conversation is planning for the future, and here's some fabulous news: He sees you in it! "He’s not just with you for the time being to have some fun," she says.
A great guy always keeps the women in his life on the top of his mind, especially his mother, notes courtship consultant, dating expert and author Brandon Aki. "With that said, look for a man who loves his mom and speaks to her at least once a week," Aki says. Make sure he maintains a healthy balance though. "Too many calls could mean you have a crazy in-law relationship brewing." Eek!
Sure, everyone brags a bit on a first date — but if he’s constantly one-upping you and trying way too hard to impress, run for the hills, girlfriend! "You want a guy with high self confidence that you learn about because he tells you, not sells you,” cautions Didi Zahariades, psychotherapist, life coach and founder of Coach To Win.
Your gut feelings can be very trustworthy, so hold his hand and see if you can sense the type of person he is through the energy exchange in that moment, offers certified counselor and relationship psychic, Alexandra Chauran. "Pay attention to your dreams after the first date too. They might have some imagery and messages for you regarding that guy!"
While confidence is certainly attractive, don’t rule out a guy who’s got a small case of the jitters, particularly on a first date. "Oftentimes, it’s the jerks that can come off as comfortable and can smile effortlessly because they’ve had a ton of practice at pretending to be the nice guy," explains relationship expert and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, Susan Trombetti.
If he adores animals (and no, not just big dogs), consider him a nice catch, reveals Martenson. Why? "Because any man who loves furry critters has a soft and sensitive side," she says. Awww, too cute!
We’re not talking about GTL style, but Jenn Flaa, author of The Happiness Handbook, says that a guy who takes care of himself now will also take care of you in the future. "Think ahead 20, 30 even 40 years from now. What do you want your life to be like? Do you want a couch potato or wheelchairs and hospital beds? Or do you want him to be around and have energy and vitality to live a big, full life with you?" Um, we choose the latter!
When did you know your guy was a good one? Was there a specific moment or was it a culmination of a lot of things during the initial dating stages??? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below!
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