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Moving in with him: How not to lose your sh*t over the small stuff

Elizabeth Mitchell is a freelance fashion and beauty writer living in Los Angeles. A graduate of New York University, she regularly contributes to The Fashion Spot, The Luxury Spot and authors the Star Style column for StyleBakery Teen. ...

Couples therapy

Moving in with your man definitely has its perks (think a snuggle buddy anytime you want!), but be warned: It’s not all cuddles, kisses and total relationship bliss 24/7. Frankly, a lot of times you’re probably going to piss each other off. It’s how you learn to deal with those subtle differences and annoying little habits that will ultimately set you up for success as a couple though. Take it from me, I know!
Couple arguing at home
Hi, my name’s Liz. My boyfriend Kenny and I have been dating for almost two years now, and recently we decided we liked each other so much we might as well get a place together. So we did! After a ton of apartment hunting, we finally found the cute little cottage slash townhouse of our dreams. Or, you know, one we could actually afford to rent for a while in LA. Now, we’re just learning how to cohabitate peacefully and make a home without losing our minds or all our money.
1

Be aware

Like many guys, my boyfriend Kenny doesn’t see what the big deal is about tossing his clothes on the floor at the end of the day. It's not that he intentionally tries to work my nerves — it’s just how he’s always done things living alone. Me? I know I have the frequent tendency to leave my shoes and random beauty products scattered all around our house. My point being, simply making yourself aware that you both have bad habits you could work on is the first step to achieving your happily ever after.

2

Take a deep breath

Seriously, breathe. Like, a lot! I utilize this method all the time when I want to bite Kenny’s head off over something so dumb, like forgetting to put down the toilet seat again. Admittedly, I don’t always take my own advice (especially if it’s that time of month, eek!) but hey, I’m showing steady improvement…

How to stop picking stupid fights >>

3

Think before you speak

A few harsh words said in the heat of the moment can lead to a major blowup that neither of you anticipated. Trust me, I’ve been there! So before you open your mouth, determine whether what you’re about to say is worth the potential fight or not. If it is, broach the subject in the calmest manner possible. My favorite line to use on Kenny is, "Sweetie, would you mind….” Or, "Babe, it makes me really happy when you…” Then just fill in the blank with what makes sense. For example, in my case it would be: "Sweetie, would you mind putting your clothes in the laundry hamper when you take them off?” Or, "Babe, it makes me really happy when you throw your clothes in the laundry hamper. Could you make more of an effort to do that?”

4

Write it out

I’m not sure if any of you keep up with the Kardashians quite like I do, but on a recent episode of Kourtney & Kim Take Miami, Kourtney’s therapist told her to write down all the cray-cray things she wanted to text to Scott without ever actually sending him the message. Naturally, I’m an impulse texter too and have been known to send some pretty ridic texts to my man, particularly under the influence of alcohol. I’ve found writing things down to be very therapeutic. After, I wait five or 10 minutes and come back to my text, I usually realize what a psycho b*tch I sound like and never hit send. Don’t get me wrong, communication is key, but bitchiness certainly is not. Hold off on having that conversation until you’ve cooled down a bit and can talk to your guy in person.

More relationship advice

How to tell it's time to move in together
10 Unbreakable rules for moving in together
So you live with a boy. Now what?

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