Those in a relationship need not apply
So I had been going out with this total meatball for over a year. One minute he was in love with me, the next minute he “needed his space.” And I tolerated his bulls*** because I was recently divorced, and plainly put, I was an idiot. Later I found out that this guy was sleeping with other women each time he told me “he needed space.” Gross.
It was a long-distance relationship and on the last occasion, he gave me the run-around. I drove home alone, on Valentine’s Day, five hours away. As I drove, the words of my friend telling me I really needed to register with an online dating service echoed in my head. Coincidentally, I had a writing assignment about online dating, so I thought “What the hell.” I had to do something to get over that tool once and for all.
Yes, this was during a time in my life when I had not yet gained an appreciation for just being single for a while. The next morning I woke up, went downstairs and registered with an online dating service. I got to try it for free, and I could keep my profile hidden while I “shopped” my possible matches. (I tried not to think about the guys who would do the same to me if I became a paying member. Eww.)
"This was fun!" I thought as I answered all those questions that it had been a while since anyone cared enough to ask me about myself (and yes, I realize I was being asked by a dating service that wanted my money. My love life had, indeed, become that pathetic.). I found a picture my talented photog friend had taken of me on my 40th birthday, and I was ready to stalk. Um, look.
Match.com had some interesting ideas about who they thought would be a good match for me. I like to do things outdoors, so I was matched with a lot of guys in sleeveless beer shirts with missing teeth. On page five of my matches, I saw a tall guy who looked vaguely familiar. I clicked on his picture. And. There. He. Was.
My boyfriend of over a year! That bast*** had a Match.com account! How long had he had it? Lord only knows. His profile said he had two kids. He has five. His age limit for compatible matches was 21-41. This is where I started to dry-heave. I was 41, he was 43. I have a daughter who was 17 at the time. So did he want to date my daughter instead?
Can he do that?
If I wasn’t already exhausted from the trip the day before, I would have gotten in my car, driven back across the state, knocked on his front door, junk-punched him with all my might, while screaming, (a la What Happens in Vegas) “You know why!”
I had nursed that pig back to health when he was sick. I had cared for his children as if they were my own. I had trusted him when he didn’t deserve it. Unlike Mary Kay, I didn’t sue Match.com for not notifying me that my boyfriend was registered with an online dating service. I decided to get even instead.
I would show him. We were a match. (I guess I have that one face-saver to hang onto. A computer database matched us, so I hadn’t been completely off in left field thinking we were a good match.) If I published my profile, he would see it.
That’s exactly what I did. I clicked on “publish” and stepped away from my computer, for eight hours. I came back to my computer, curious to see who had viewed my profile. I had 236 views. In eight hours. I had 17 emails. Now I felt sick to my stomach for a different reason. Why did I feel like a bunch of strange men were crowded around my dining room window, peering into my house with their pants down around their ankles?
My little plan of revenge had backfired. I immediately removed my profile (which he never saw). So if Mary Kay wins her $10 million lawsuit, maybe along with insisting on background checks and more prominent disclaimers, Match.com could also ask potential candidates if they are already in a relationship and/or sleeping with someone before they are allowed to register!
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