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How to... read his signs and make the first move

How to... Quit waiting and take charge

The dating scene is changing. More and more women are slapping down that credit card after meals, and nowadays ladies are asking the fellas on dates. If he's not taking charge, who's to say you can't?
Woman kissing man

With the number of eligible bachelors decreasing by the day, it’s an every-woman-for-herself society, and if you’re interested, you have every right to let him know.

Now that it's socially acceptable for the woman to initiate the lean-in for that storybook first kiss, it’s changed men's attitudes. Guys want just as much reassurance that you’re interested in them and they may hold off on making that first move.

So don’t be afraid to grab him by the collar and lay something on his lips that leaves a lasting impression. Just read the signs before you get too bold. There's a science to this, you know.

Step 1: Read the signs

He calls. Yes, it’s that simple. If he makes the effort to put in a call as opposed to sending a five-word text, he’s digging you. With text messaging quickly becoming the lackadaisical norm of communication, a call is most-def an above-and-beyond gesture.

Step 2: Pencil him in

He makes attempts to see you more than once a week. As relationships evolve, the one common theme is the involved parties spend more and more time together. The more he wants to see you, the more invested are his interests. As ladies we’re always cautious of the "friends with benefits/booty call" corral we may find ourselves trapped in. If he’s making attempts to increase time spent, that’s a big score in your category.

Step 3: He's doing his homework

He puts the effort into your dates. If he is planning out the night, that’s a good sign you’re not in the friend zone. If he asks, "I don’t know, where do you want to go? OK, I’ll meet you there," that’s not as encouraging. Men with certain interests make the effort and they want to be the one responsible for that "This was a perfect night" smile on your face.

Step 4: Here it comes

When you lock eyes with him, you see the hesitation in him and he turns away. Don’t take this as a deterrent. He’s turning away because he’s nervous, and breaking the contact is the only escape from the situation. If he could sit there and stare into your eyes for eternity without the sense of wanting to kiss you, that would be a problem.

Read the signs and let them point the way. If you find any of the signs above occurring, it's probably time to plant one on him until he’s weak in the knees. And don’t be embarrassed that you were the one who had to make the first move. It probably means you’ve nabbed one of the good ones.

If he didn’t show these signs, and you went in for the lip-smack only to slobber on a turned cheek, call it an evening, and go out and buy yourself a nice pair of shoes the next day.

More love how-tos

How to leave a bad date
How to heat up the passion and romance
Tips to scheduling a girls’ night and sticking with it

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