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Help! I met my boyfriend's parents and I don't like them

Jessica Padykula is a freelance writer and editor in Toronto, Canada covering a wide range of  topics for several online lifestyle publications. She is a regular contributor for SheKnows, covering travel, style, relationships, health and...

Tips for dealing with his family

Meeting your guy’s family is a huge step in your relationship and the best case scenario is that you love them. But what if you don’t hit it off or connect like you hoped you would? All is not lost and we have some advice for moving past a not-so-ideal first meeting.
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Give it another try

One meeting isn’t usually enough to go on when it comes to getting to know new people. While they might have turned you off at first, giving them a second chance is only fair to your boyfriend and his family. Ideally, it was just first-meeting jitters that caused his parents to appear unfriendly or awkward and that when you meet them for a second time, they’ll be much more at ease and will be warm and welcoming.

Think about your role

Are you sure it was them and not you? If you felt at all out of place or uncomfortable (which you likely did on a first meeting), then you might not have been yourself, which can put others on edge. You might also have been allowing your nerves to play tricks on you and started to just assume your boyfriend’s family had it out for you. The next time, try to relax and remember it can be hard to get to know new people. Make sure it wasn’t just your nerves or shyness causing you to feel like the first meeting went poorly.

Find redeeming qualities

OK maybe his mom is a raging lunatic and his dad has a bad habit of making inappropriate comments that make you cringe, but if you want to see your relationship last for the long-term, you might need to dig deep to at least find some qualities you like (or at least can tolerate) in his folks. Maybe it’s his mom’s cooking or his dad’s kindness (when he’s not making lewd jokes), but focus on the positives as much as you can or you’ll go nuts with every visit.

Fake it (until you hopefully make it)

The worst case scenario is that you just don’t warm up to them and they don’t warm up to you. If you’ve tried everything but still want to ensure your boyfriend doesn’t think you despise his family, you’re going to have to pretend you like them. Of course this is only the case if the issue is just a personality clash. If his family is mean to you in any way, your guy needs to know. But if it’s a simple case of you could take them or leave them, just put in the effort while you’re there and hope for the best.

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