Sting may be to blame for the trendy, celeb-ified impression most of us now have about tantric sex. Decades ago, silly old Sting made a seemingly innocent comment about his sex life with his wife during an interview. Almost 25 years later, and the rock legend can't seem to shake the sex rumor that led most people to believe that Sting and Trudie got it on tantric-style for no less than five hours a day. Thankfully, Trudie has gone on record to say that the marathon sex myth is just that — a myth — but that still leaves us with plenty of questions about this hot style of sex.
To get to the heart of what tantric sex actually means, we caught up with Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson, authors of Great Sex Made Simple: Tantric Tips to Deepen Intimacy and Heighten Pleasure, who schooled us in the ways of the tantra — and how regular women (yep, that's you!) can get the most out of their sex lives using tantric techniques.
If you take away nothing else from this story, remember that the 5,000-year-old Eastern spiritual practice of tantric sex does not mean that you have to make love for hours. Instead, enlightenment and having a reverence for your partner that lasts beyond the length of any orgasm is at the core of the teachings, Michaels and Johnson say.
"It's funny that a comment Sting made over 20 years ago still has an enduring hold on the public's imagination," the couple says. "He's tried to explain it away or recant it in various ways. At one point, he said that he regretted making the statement and didn't really feel he could talk about the subject beyond saying that his wife, Trudy, is his church. That's much closer to what the spirit of tantric sex is all about."
"In the classical sexual ritual, the participants worship each other as embodiments of deities. We encourage people to bring an attitude of reverence into their lovemaking and to all their interactions. The tantric approach has far more to do with your mental approach than with technique. It's certainly got nothing to do with bragging about staying power."
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