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Keep calm and carry on: What to avoid fighting about

Jessica Padykula is a freelance writer and editor in Toronto, Canada covering a wide range of  topics for several online lifestyle publications. She is a regular contributor for SheKnows, covering travel, style, relationships, health and...

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December is a stressful month. If you've found yourself fighting more amid all that holiday chaos, you’re not alone. But there are certain things that just don’t benefit from constant arguing. We’re here to help you keep the peace going forward with our list of things to stop fighting about this year.

couple annoyed with each other

Things that can’t be changed

Think about the person you chose to be with and why you got together in the first place. Are there parts of his personality that you now get frustrated with? Before you get into more arguments about the way he is (versus the way you want him to be), know that it isn’t fair to try to change someone or mold them into something you think they should be. If you loved his quirks at the beginning of your relationship, you can’t expect him to change who he is now.

The small stuff

Even the most fastidious among us have small (but potentially annoying habits) such as never getting the “right” brand of orange juice, leaving the cap off the toothpaste, hogging the blankets, etc. But these little things are not worth fighting about. Sure you can remind him you hate pulp or you prefer when the cap is on the toothpaste, but don’t let the small stuff get to you. Fighting about silly little things is a waste of energy and a drain on your relationship.

Finances

We all fight about finances, but the fact is, before you have it out over the budget (again), find a way to make your combined income work for you as a couple, rather than against you. Fighting about money just makes people angry and causes stress. Instead, find a time when you’re both relaxed and work together to create a monthly budget and savings plan you can both agree on so you don’t have to fight about who spends what and when.

Time spent together

Everyone has different intimacy needs. Some people like to be with their partner 24/7 and do almost everything as a pair, while others need some alone time amid all that togetherness. If you and your partner have different space and intimacy needs, there’s no point fighting about it. Just know that as long as you love each other, you’ll be able to find a balance between both your needs.

More relationship tips

Holiday survival guide for couples
5 Easy ways to make more time for each other
Let it all out: Why fighting can be good for your relationship

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