The Upside Of Fights

Most of us have been conditioned to think about fights as a negative part of being in a relationship, and that fighting means there’s something wrong with your partnership. But not all fights are created equal and sometimes they can actually be healthy for your relationship. And we’re not just talking about the make-up sex afterwards.

Couple fighting in ktichen

They clear the air

It can be easy to hold grudges in relationships and stay mad about things that don’t actually get discussed. A fight can clear the air of all that relationship baggage and get it out in the open where it can be discussed and dealt with. Whether it’s your frustration that he never cleans up, or the fact that you always have to figure out what to make for dinner while he taps away on his laptop, the more you harbor those little annoyances, the bigger they can get. A fight is sometimes the best way to move past all of the things building up that should be worked on rather than ignored.

They test your communication skills

Good communication is the cornerstone to any healthy relationship, but it’s easy to get complacent and neglect the skills you need to stay connected and compromise effectively. Having the odd fight forces you to dig deep and figure out ways to communicate your feelings in a way that your partner understands (and that doesn’t escalate the fight). Fighting all the time isn’t good, but once in a while, an over-the-top argument will test your communication skills and help you find new ways to get your point across.

They can relieve tension

Feeling stressed? Not sure what the problem is? Sometimes a fight can blow through built-up tension and pave the way for a much calmer day or evening between the two of you. Maybe you’ve both been tense about work stress or things happening at home but haven’t had time to discuss. A fight will cut right through it and ideally, give you a chance to reconnect minus the stress you were dealing with.

More relationship tips

Communication mistakes you could be making
How to start and end an argument the right way
How to get your point across without nagging


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Comments on "Let it all out: Why fights can be good for your relationship"

Emma November 12, 2012 | 4:24 PM

Communication skills are key to any relationship. And learning how to fight in a healthy way is incredibly important. If you cannot fight and communicate in effective ways, your relationship could become incredibly difficult and draining!

Erin November 02, 2012 | 10:40 AM

Love this and I agree - fights let you express what's on your mind. Though I don't think yelling and crying is a great way to get your point across, to me it's better than holding it in. Any time my hubby and I fight we always end up closer afterwards.

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