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Women on top, men on bottom: Is your boyfriend a lap dog?

Alpha male vs. alpha female

According to Hanna Rosin, author of The End of Men, gender roles in society have changed. Taking a look at the third meaning as described below, as a dog is a man’s best friend, men are becoming a woman’s best friend. A lap dog is not just a small dog or an eager partner — it is a man who will do anything for his woman.
Woman making man beg

Lap dog
n.

  1. A small dog kept as a pet.
  2. Informal. One eager to do another’s bidding, especially in order to maintain a position of privilege or favor.
  3. Pop culture. A man who will do anything for a woman.

The powerful lowdown

Due to the economic atmosphere, the gender roles are changing at a shocking rate. In The End of Men, Rosin asks the question, “What if postindustrial society is better suited for women?” Society is allowing for women to become independent. So, as the rise of powerful women grows, it allows for them to become more confident and dominant over men. Rosin points out it can be seen in pop culture in movies such as Knocked Up or The 40 Year Old Virgin with an omega male, who cannot seem to grow up and in turn needs someone to take care of him. In this case, there is an alpha female who has it together and wants to take care of someone.

What makes a lap dog?

While each relationship is different, the general qualities of a lap dog are the same. He is conditioned and loyal. These men admire their women and want to please them. But, just as a dog, the men need to be spoiled and pampered. He is usually someone who has aspirations in life and who has not yet reached his full potential. These women are earning more money and the men are OK with that.

As a self-professed lap dog holder says, "It's cool, I got it. I can take care of myself. All I ask is just for him to do things for me in return." Not to say the six figure earning man cannot be conditioned, he will likely have too much pride to let the woman have control. She says, "Establishing authority, it gives you the upper hand in life and the bedroom. That doesn't mean you don't care, because you do. You build a relationship, one with you in charge.” She shows her man that she has a stance in the relationship. It is all about teaching him what you want and in return you both reap the benefits.

Hold the power

A woman in control is losing the negative connotation and becoming something more desired. Conditioning your man to be a lap dog is all about confidence. Look at celebrities such as Madonna, Jennifer Lopez and Demi Moore who are in charge of their relationships. It is a relationship where the woman takes control once and for all. As Rosin says, “Unmistakably… women hold all the cards.”

More on relationships

Are you being used? When to watch your back
Find out what Americans are doing between the sheets
4 Rules for rocking a first date

Sources: Interviewee Lindy Beeson, self-professed lap dog holder.
Rosin, Hanna. "The End of Men." The Atlantic.
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