Shy Girl's Dating Tips

It’s not always easy to ask someone out on a date. In fact, the process can seem downright daunting for some of us. Rather than hope the guy you like picks up on enough hints to ask you out, or resign yourself to a date-free fall, follow our tips for asking someone out with ease.

Woman asking man out on date


It might sound silly, but the best way to feel ready to tackle asking a guy out is to know what you want to say and how you want to say it. That’s where practice comes in. Ask one of your BFFs to be your coach and then just simply try out a few different ways to approach someone you like. Loosen up and don’t worry about feeling embarrassed. Getting the jitters out with a good friend will make the real deal much easier. Plus your friend can help give you pointers on things like eye contact, body language and how direct you’re being.

Don’t overthink it

It’s just one date -- not the end of the world. Being nervous is totally fine (and totally normal), but don’t overthink what you’re about to do. The less pressure you put on yourself, the smoother things will go, so let go of your apprehensions and relax. Speculating about what he’s going to say and whether or not you’ll be able to go through with it will just make you more nervous and uncomfortable.

Be direct

Once you’re ready to approach the guy you like, the best course of action is to be direct. Rather than beating around the bush or making awkward conversation, simply ask him what he’s doing tomorrow or next week or whether he wants to check out a band at the bar you both like. Remember what you practiced and project confidence. The more direct you are (while still smiling and being friendly), the easier it will be to ask someone out.

Have fun with it

What’s the worst that can happen? Sure, he could say no, but consider it more practice and have fun no matter what happens. If you go into the situation with a positive attitude, you’re much more likely to come across as laid-back and confident -- attributes that are very likely to get you a date.

Tell us

What is your idea of a perfect first date? Share in the comments below!

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Comments on "Shy girl's guide to asking someone out"

joe April 04, 2014 | 2:14 AM

not trying to brag here but I'm a very good looking guy....I'm trying to figure out something, I'm getting smiled at a lot by women when I'm out and about; so what does this mean? what do they want? why don't they just say hi instead?

Frank2k13 September 05, 2013 | 7:29 AM

Every girl, shy or not, should read this ! Too many girls ( I say "girls" because a mature WOMAN shouldn't have this problem)are either too afraid of being rejected, or see it as beneath them to ask a man out.Rejection is a part of life that men have had to deal with since boyhood.Girls like the do nothing wait-and-see approach and then get pissed when nothing happens. It's about time girls grow up and be more aggressive .

arnold December 14, 2012 | 2:53 AM

A lady can ask a guy out if she like him there is no problem about that through there. She can let the guy no her feeling

Kendra September 20, 2012 | 1:45 PM

My ideal first date would be classic - him picking me up, maybe having a flower or two to give me, and taking me out to dinner. I wouldn't want to go to a movie as we can't talk in a movie. I'd love for him to treat me like a lady and open my doors for me and walk by my side.

Laurel September 18, 2012 | 11:39 AM

Asking a guy out is so intimidating! I still have not reached that point yet, but these tips are helpful! The perfect first date? Something where you can actually get to know each other and have a good conversation, but also nothing too serious or awkward. Doing something active together is a fun ice breaker. And always include food :)

Erin September 11, 2012 | 10:35 AM

Great article!! My idea of a perfect first date is the exact first date I went on with my now-husband. We went to Baskin Robbins and talked on a bench for 3 hours! I loved that it was low-key and I didn't have to get dressed up. Also, it's great to actually get to know whomever your interested in dating instead of seeing movies and partying.

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