Woman annoyed with friends playing video games

Life would be so much easier if you hit it off with all of your boyfriend's friends, but there are usually one or two that you’d rather not spend time with.

Stuck in the middle

If you’re currently dealing with some less-than-ideal dudes, there are some easy ways to move past conflict and make amends with your man’s BFFs.

Try to find common ground

Even if some of his friends act like annoying teenagers rather than grown men, and you’d rather converse with the guy that works at the corner gas station than spend another minute trying to pretend their offensive behavior isn’t getting to you, look for some kind of common ground. Do both you and the friend you loathe have a dog? Steer the conversation toward pets. Do you both read the same author? See if you can discuss the latest book you loved. The key is to try and look past the stuff you hate, and focus on anything you might have in common.

Have a sense of humor

Everyone has a different idea of what constitutes funny. While you might not appreciate the immature humor of his friends, try to relax and have a laugh with them so they don’t think you’re uptight. If they’re downright offensive, by all means walk away, but if you can make them laugh and present a fairly laid-back attitude, you’ll be much better off.

Be firm but friendly

It’s OK not to like all his buddies, but the trick is not to show it. You can smile and nod while inside thinking about how you wish your guy would drop the loser who is now trying to regale you with tales of how much beer he can consume in one sitting. You don’t need to spend hours with this person or expend energy pretending to love him, but do put in the minimal effort to at least avoid coming across as hostile.

Talk to him about it

If the rift between you and one or more of his friends continues, you might have to have a talk about what’s going on. But don’t attack or accuse him of being friends with awful people. Just explain how you feel and why you feel that way. Your guy might be able to shed some light on why the person you dislike is so hard to get along with. At the very least you’re being honest and letting your partner know you aren’t comfortable with one or more of his friends.

Avoid them if need be

If all else fails, just don’t hang out with your guy when his most annoying friend is going to be around. It’ll be a lot more fun for you to hang out with your own friends than fake having a good time with them. Plus your boyfriend will be more comfortable knowing you aren’t having an awful time with his friend.

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Comments

Comments on "Help! I hate my boyfriend's friends"

Pauline December 04, 2013 | 7:20 PM

I don't care for most of my bf's friends. They're just not people that I want or need to be around. So, when they come over, I just stay out of their way. They talk, play around, do guy stuff. Besides, who wants their girlfriend right there hanging out with the guys anyway...right. I certainly don't expect him to hang out with my girlfriends. But he does have a couple of long-time "friends" (they are a married couple) that when they call and say they are coming over....I will leave the house and go do something else. I find them that annoying to be around. I never tell him not to hang out with these people. The way I see it, he has a right to associate with whoever he wants, and I have a right not to. But it bothers him that I'm not into his friends. Alot I guess. I guess if it really means that much to him I could stomach a once in a great while short visit with these people. But....why?? The older I get the less I understand men.

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Anna October 15, 2012 | 10:13 AM

What about when these friends I can't stand are around constantly and it is driving a wedge between my boyfriend and me because wants us all to be one big happy family and I am more and more hating being around his friends.

Raechel September 12, 2012 | 9:17 AM

I also agree with Laurel honesty is really important in a relationship.

Hannah September 04, 2012 | 9:57 AM

I agree with Laurel that honesty is the most important thing. Plus, as I've gotten older I've realized that only true friends are the ones that stay in each of your lives. My now husband isn't nearly as close to the same people as he was when we first started dating, so try not to stress about it.

Laurel August 31, 2012 | 8:31 AM

I think the most important thing in situations like this is honesty. Talk to your guy about the way you are feeling and why, he will definitely be able to explain his friendships better than you can assume they are!

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