Couple kissing

Chemistry is usually the first thing that draws you to someone new and then you build a deeper relationship from there (if you click on multiple levels). But once you’ve been together for a while, that elusive chemistry can fade.

Spark up your love

If you’re feeling like the spark is on its way out, don’t panic. We’re here to help you get it back.

Stay curious

One thing that helps to create chemistry is that element of the unknown that comes with meeting and getting to know someone new. Every day is an adventure in learning about this new person you’re spending time with. Once you’ve been together for a while, there’s less and less to learn. Or at least that’s how it seems. Keep chemistry going strong by staying curious about each other. Continue asking questions and making an effort to find out new things about one another.

Be open to change

Relationships have a tendency to shift and change, but resisting that change and trying to keep things the same can be an instant chemistry-killer. Nothing is meant to stay the same (that can lead to a rut. See below), so the best thing you can do to avoid seeing your spark disappear is to go with the flow. Be open to new directions your relationship might head in or different sides of your significant other that are only now just appearing. You never know; those changes might lead to something even better.

Steer clear of a rut

Relationship ruts are like kryptonite to chemistry. One little rut has the power to take down chemistry with a single swipe, which isn’t good for anyone. Protect your passion by doing what you can to avoid falling into the dreaded rut. Try new things, set goals together, travel as a twosome, and forgo routine for spontaneity whenever possible.

Break out of a relationship rut for good >>

Focus on the positive

When you meet someone new, it’s easy to only focus on their positive points because that’s all you see. Once some time has passed, you start seeing some not-so-positive traits pop up. The key here is to find a balance. No one is perfect, but the sooner you start focusing on the things that bug you about your guy, the faster that chemistry is going to fade. We’re not suggesting letting large issues slide (like he never pulls his weight or helps out), but if there are little things that irk you, don’t make those your focal point. Instead, think about what you love about him and what drew you to him in the first place.

Stay affectionate

It’s amazing how quickly the spark can come back with a bit of affection. You don’t have to be glued to your partner at all times, but holding hands, shoulder rubs, a hand through the hair and a spontaneous kiss can go a long way toward keeping chemistry going strong.

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Comments on "5 Ways to keep the chemistry alive"

Emily September 18, 2012 | 10:40 AM

It's crazy how every relationship ends up sorta losing that chemistry. Not that it's completely gone, but being honest, it does fade. Anyone you're around on a consistent basis is going to annoy you every now and then. Try to focus on the good!

Raechel August 22, 2012 | 10:20 AM

I think this article is dead on. Once you've passed the "honeymoon" stage of a relationship there are things about your significant other that will bother you. I think it it really important to be honest with your other half and tell them what bothers you, but don't dwell on these things. I also agree that being spontanious in a relationship is key. No one likes to do the same thing day to day. Change it up! Create a jar with different date night ideas and pick from that. This will keep the relationship fun and exciting.

Erin August 08, 2012 | 1:49 PM

I think it's really important to stay affectionate. Almost every couple starts out holding hands everywhere they go and kissing all the time, but what about couples who have been together longer than a few months? I say keep it up!! Even if you're just going to the store, make it a little more romantic by grabbing your partners hand or giving him a hug in the produce section.

Britt August 07, 2012 | 11:41 AM

I think it is important to find that balance between positive and negative attributes of a person. Once you find those negative things, it is hard not to focus on them to the point of going crazy! But also decide if they are deal breakers or not!

Emma August 07, 2012 | 11:37 AM

I think it is absolutely important to realize that relationships do change, and that is ok. Stay open to change, things will get interesting and that helps keep curiosity and the spark alive.

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