Dating After Divorce
There are many singles that decide that traditional dating is not worth the time, hassle and effort it requires. One comment I hear often is, “I am so tired of telling my story to new people. I just want to meet someone and not have to go over the details of who I am anymore.” This feeling may resonate with you and as a relationship coach, I do acknowledge that dating is emotional and can be challenging.
Dating is necessary because it reveals what you really deem important in a permanent relationship. Sometimes personality preferences, specific looks and characteristics, which “look good on paper,” turn out to be not as vital in person. So let’s take a look at my guidelines on how to date after divorce with the purposeful intention of attracting one last love to last forever.
My first suggestion to start your journey is:
Display your “available” sign
I believe most people know when they put out their “unavailable” sign. We go about our day with a look that says, “Don’t even think about talking to me... and stay away!” When you have an attitude that puts a barrier between you and everyone else, you are ensuring that no one will dare approach you. You’ll never know how many opportunities for love that could have opened if you had been a willing participant.
Know what you want
Like many people, you can probably list in detail your accomplishments and vision for your career path. However, when it comes to describing the type of person you wanted to date, it’s easy to draw a blank or just a vague outline. It is not unromantic to know what you want in love and be assured that you will not let the right one get away armed with a pinpoint description. Unless you are cognizant of the experience you desire in love, you will not know the right one. The dating experience will be an aimless exercise with a cloudy vision, unable to attract the type of person you desire for lasting love.
Embrace realistic expectations
OK, not every date is going to lead to marriage, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! The “where is this going” talk is not appropriate first date conversation material... ever. The idea of dating is to get to know each other and see if you are compatible. Purposeful dating includes enjoying the dates. By spending time together, you will discover the following answers:
It is vital to look beyond the physical attraction and figure out how you two can work together as a potential couple. Dating provides ample opportunities to see how you interact with each other in a variety of circumstances, giving valuable compatibility insight.
Attracting one last love to last forever is possible with the right emotional, mental and spiritual preparation before dating. The willingness to date with clear purpose, without rushing each stage of the relationship will lead to attracting the right individual. Each date provides valuable information about yourself and your relationship readiness. Being open to the lessons of love through purposeful dating will provide insight into the true “must haves” for lasting love.
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