Happy couple

If you’ve been dating someone for a while and it seems like things are going well – but you want to be totally sure – there are a few surefire ways to tell.

Is he a keeper?

We put together five no-fail ways to see if your relationship is on solid ground. For insight we turned to Dr. Francine Lederer, clinical psychologist and life transitions specialist.

You’ve met each other’s families

This is a big step when it comes to knowing if your relationship has staying power. But it’s not just about going to his parents' house for dinner a few times. How well do you know his family? If you've met each other's parents and families and accept the things you may not like or love about them, you’re on your way to relationship success, Lederer explains. "In-laws are one of the top issues couples argue about in therapy, so it's important the couple is on the same page as far as the role they want family members to play in their life."

You embrace his flaws

Knowing you can live with your partner's flaws or less appealing side is important and a significant indicator of whether you and your partner are compatible in the long term. "We all are imperfect and it's important at the end of the day that we can live with the parts of our partner we're less crazy about, and that the pluses outweigh the negatives," Lederer says.

You can totally be yourself

If you’re at the stage where you can be completely comfortable with your guy (as in not feel like you have to hide your quirks), there’s a good chance things are on solid ground. A good partnership means having the ability to expose your own flaws and vulnerabilities with your partner, Lederer explains. "Feeling safe and comfortable enough to be yourself around your partner is key to a healthy relationship," she says. "Otherwise it's all a facade."

There are no secrets

Are you hiding anything major from your man? Do you get the feeling he’s not being totally upfront? If so, you could have a problem down the road. Otherwise, put everything out on the table. "If you can't be truly honest with your partner even if it may hurt, then you're not ready to take the next step in the relationship," says Lederer. "Trust is a make-it or break-it deal."

You’re on the same page

To really find out if your relationship can survive the next level, you should agree about the big issues. "Discuss each other's values and long-term goals," advises Lederer. "Knowing where you stand as far as career paths, financial status, religious beliefs, having children, etc. is key in determining whether this relationship is long term or marriage material," she says. "If you can't have the talk, you can't do the walk."

More relationship advice

Learn how to translate his love language
6 Things to think about before tying the knot
The importance of date night to married couples

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Comments

Comments on "Is your relationship on solid ground? How to tell"

Shannon August 14, 2012 | 9:37 AM

When you love someone unconditionally, you are choosing to love them inspite of their flaws. We all have them, so look past those flaws in your significant other and focus on the good. There's a reason you fell in love with this person, so go back to that whenever you're feeling negative.

Bryn July 05, 2012 | 3:37 PM

I love the last line, if you can't have the talk then you do the walk! I think it is important to know where each other stands on various issues. Even if you both aren't totally on the same page, but are being completely honest with each other and accept where you're at that is a good spot to be.

Britt July 05, 2012 | 3:35 PM

Meeting eachother's families is a huge step! And it isn't one to be taken lightly. Of course, you want their approval. But once they've met, they are now becoming involved and invested in the relationship too! Make sure it isn't done too premature.

Emma July 05, 2012 | 3:34 PM

I think true love overlooks a person's imperfections and cares for them in spite of it all. We all aren't perfect, and when we think we are we expect too much of people. I think it is a huge sign of love and respect when you can recognize each other's flaws and love them through it.

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