Are you ready to move on? 4 No-fail ways to tell

May 22, 2012 5:00 AM by Jessica Padykula

Posted in Love & Sex / Divorce & Breakups / Breakups

Top Signs It's Breakup Time

There are times when you know immediately that a relationship is over. When all of a sudden you can’t stand to look at him and everything he says or does makes you want to cringe or roll your eyes. But other times things are not so cut and dry and you’re just not totally sure that breaking up is the right thing to do. To help ease your confusion, we came up with four no-fail signs it’s time to do the deed and hit the road.

Bored woman on date

He’s fading from future plans

If, when you start thinking about future plans and goals, he’s just on the periphery of whatever it is you see yourself doing, that could mean your feelings have faded to the point of no return. When things are good and the relationship is strong, you usually want similar things, so if you were thinking about moving to a different state or volunteering overseas, you’d want to find a way to do it together – not be leaning toward going solo.

You’re indifferent

Ruts happen in relationships all the time, so it can be hard to decide when to move on and when to ride it out, but indifference often spells disaster. If you can’t be bothered to even get angry when he does something stupid or you don’t care either way if he gets the promotion or not, you’ve most likely lost that loving feeling. If that’s the case, we suggest seriously looking at your feelings and whether or not they can be re-ignited. If not, it’s time to move on.

Your eyes are wandering – a lot

Attached or not, we can all appreciate a good looking guy, but if you find yourself doing more than just looking – whether it’s flirting or wishing you could do more than flirt – you’re on the road to relationship demise. Flirting isn’t the problem; we all do it now and again because it’s fun. But flirting with intent is definitely a sign that you’re ready for something (or someone) new.

Quick tip

If you do end things at this point, try to give yourself time before jumping into anything new – even a rebound hook-up. Breakups call for reflection time even if you did the dumping.

You no longer trust him

Trust is really hard to get back once you’ve lost it, and if he’s done something to make you distrust him, you’ll be hard-pressed to want to keep the relationship going. Maybe he lied about money, or maybe he had coffee with his ex when he said he was with friends at a ball game. The point is, even if nothing happened, if you feel you can’t trust him, you’re always going to be second guessing everything he says or does, which in our books means you may want to think about starting fresh.

More relationship advice

10 Steps to get rid of your boyfriend
Learn how to translate his love language
Lost that loving feeling? How to get it back

Tags: breakups relationship tips

Comments

Comments on "Are you ready to move on? 4 No-fail ways to tell"

I agree with Emma, definitely allow time before moving on. Self-reflect and see what you did to possibly make the relationship not work. I always say before breaking up, make sure you've communicated with your partner what you've been feeling and really try to fix it, especially if you are already very committed. If two people are willing to do what it takes to fix something, it can be done.

I don't think it's necessarily disrespectful to move on from a relationship a little more quickly than normal. If you have known for some time that this relationship was over, you may be ready to move on sooner! I'm definitely not saying that you should start looking before the relationship is over, but it can be ok if you are emotionally ready once the relationship is over.

I think the best part of this is the quick tip. Even if you are the one over the relationship, it is important to give yourself time to heal and be ready for something else. It also shows respect to your ex and the time you shared together. If you are no longer interested in dating the person, it is still important to handle it in a mature manner.