Breakups happen for plenty of reasons, but cheating is a monumental severing of trust. Did either party cheat? If so, did that person try to hide it, or did they confess immediately? If they tried to hide it, it may indicate that they think they can get away with cheating. Getting back together with that person would only serve to reinforce that behavior. Many people subscribe to the “Once a cheater, always a cheater” philosophy, but people do change. Use your gut and leave your emotions out of it. If you were the unfaithful one, think about why your mistake happened in the first place. Were you unsatisfied sexually or emotionally? Were you bored? If so, it could be a mistake to learn from and move on. It’s difficult to renew trust once that bond is broken.
If you feel like your relationship had some unfinished business, odds are you’re building him up in your head as the ideal man, simply because your relationship ended abruptly and without any monumental cause. Do you think about the special moments you had together or how much you loved him for the man he was? If it’s the former, you might simply be holding onto the thought of him, not hopefulness for the future. Is it really love, or is it an obsession? It might be worth pursuing if it’s either, but if it’s an obsession, tread lightly. Be sure not to put your Prince Charming expectations on him the second time around. He’s just a person, after all.
Before you go back to a relationship, spend some time away from each other, not even communicating through text or Facebook. What’s life like without him? Do you miss him because you miss having a boyfriend, or do you miss him for who he is? Make sure you’re not just being a slave to your emotions. Be rational. Imagine never spending another day with him again. Would your life be better or worse? Would it save you pain? If you’re fundamentally happier without him around, it might be time to let the past live in the past.
Want more about love and exes? Check out a great read in the SheKnows Book Lounge: Spring Fever by bestselling author Mary Kay Andrews, a new book about one woman who believes she’s over her ex-husband only to find that maybe, just maybe she wants him back. Head to our new SheKnows Book Lounge now.
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