Love advice: Beware of a man with a temper

Beware of the man with a temper

Most women assume that I am referring simply to a man who is violent or abusive. Naturally, avoiding those types of men is a given. However, when I refer to a man with a temper, what I am specifically referring to is a man who overreacts to a situation when he is angry. By “overreacting” I am not necessarily implying that he is physically violent or verbally abusive. Although again, behaving in either of these ways would be inappropriate and inexcusable.

However, I am referring to other ways in which a man may overreact to a situation. For instance, if a man ignores you for a week because you were 10 minutes late for your date, that is an overreaction. If a man yells at you for disagreeing with him, that is an overreaction.

Understand the situation

When this type of man gets angry, he is not reasonable because he feels as if he is being attacked. For him it is a life and death struggle. Most men have the maturity and self-control not to even consider injuring a woman either physically or emotionally when they are angry. A man with a temper has one goal – to protect himself at any cost, even if that means hurting the woman in his life.

Don't overlook the warning signs

The question I have received repeatedly regarding a man with a temper is the following: “What are the warning signs?” You should be concerned if he has a tendency to:

• Become hypersensitive to conflict. He is easily offended and often takes the slightest setback as a personal attack. His hypersensitivity puts a woman in the position of having to walk on eggshells for fear of upsetting him.
• Constantly blame others for his misfortunes. In his mind, there is always an excuse as to why his life isn’t what he thinks it should be, and he usually blames others for his life's shortcomings. He does not take responsibility for his own happiness.
• Become excessively jealous and control your behavior. Has he told you it is because he loves you so much or that he only wants to help you? Has he started telling you what to wear, who you can socialize with or where you can go? This is not love. This is considered control.
• Demand unrealistic expectations from you. Does he expect you to be the perfect woman? Are you responsible for meeting his every need? If you disappoint him in any way, are you heavily penalized for it either through verbal abuse or passive aggressive behavior such as being ignored for days? There is no way an individual can live up to these types of expectations, and often it is difficult to always know exactly what the specific expectations are.

The danger of being with this type of man? He often isn't interested in changing. In his mind, the problems that occur in a relationship are almost always the woman's fault. His temper can actually make his partner believe his unrealistic and childish expectations. Such a man may be attractive when he's in a good mood, but his dark side will rob a woman of her self-esteem and beauty the deeper she is involved with him. If you are concerned and think you may be in a relationship like this, please be cautious and remember to always put yourself first.

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