You can’t ditch your duties and you don’t want to upset her, but there are a few strategies that will help you get through the wedding in one piece.
First things first; if the bride is freaking out, you need to stay calm. You might be feeling frustrated by her behavior (or even ready to call it quits on the whole affair), but the best way to handle a bride who has turned into a monster is to avoid succumbing to anxiety yourself. Take breaks from the planning, remember that it’s OK to say no some of the time (to the particularly outrageous requests) and most importantly, breathe.
Dealing with a bridezilla can be tough, especially when they don’t get what they want or feel like things aren’t going their way (kind of like a toddler having a temper tantrum). Rather than getting caught up in the drama (over something silly like tea lights or place cards), just nod and smile. Be passively supportive without getting swept up in whatever has her in a panic. Telling her she’s crazy isn’t an option, nor is freaking out alongside her. A simple pat on the back and a mumbled, “oh yes, I totally agree,” should do the trick.
The last thing you want is to cause a rift among the wedding party by gossiping behind the bride’s back. Rather than risk something you’ve said getting back to her (when she’s in a bad mood), keep your thoughts to yourself while you’re with the bride and her brood. Instead, vent to friends and family not associated with the event.
While you did agree to be part of the proceedings, you didn’t sign up to be anyone’s full-time assistant or be at their beck and call 24/7. The key is to find a balance between saying yes and sidestepping ridiculous responsibilities that make it hard for you to have a life outside of “the wedding.” If there are things you simply can’t (or don’t want) to do, find a gentle way to tell her. Have a list of plausible but generic excuses on hand in case you need to skip something or duck out early.
Just because your friend is currently in full-on bridezilla mode, she will go back to her old self once the wedding is over. Take solace in the fact that this is all temporary and in the end, for a good cause. You want her wedding day to be perfect so helping her for a few months (while anger-inducing at times) will all be worth it in the end.
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