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The shy girl's guide to better sex

Jessica Padykula is a freelance writer and editor in Toronto, Canada covering a wide range of  topics for several online lifestyle publications. She is a regular contributor for SheKnows, covering travel, style, relationships, health and...

Don't be shy, have better sex!

It’s not easy for everyone to be bold in the bedroom. In fact, if you feel shy about getting what you want when it comes to sex, you’re likely not alone. With that in mind, we put together some simple sex tips for making it hot no matter your personality type.

Couple having sex

Focus on flirting

Don’t underestimate the power of flirting and being subtly suggestive when it comes to getting what you want in bed. Sex doesn't have to start in the bedroom. It can (and should) start the moment you part ways for the day. It’s all about anticipation, so why not start the foreplay when he leaves for work in the morning? It can often be a lot easier to be forward when you’re not face to face, so let loose a little by putting pen to paper. Flirt with him during the day by leaving him romantic notes and sending suggestive emails and texts. By the time he gets home, you won’t have to lift a finger.

Dress to impress

If you’re in the mood for sex but don’t feel comfortable being the instigator, what you wear can easily send the right message to your man. Men get turned on by seeing you looking sexy. This means trading your usual nondescript bras and underwear for something more revealing. Don't even think about sticking to everyday lingerie – it’s time to spice things up. You may have been together for years but that doesn't mean your lingerie drawer should have dust on it. To really get your point across without saying a word, treat yourself to upgraded lingerie that not only looks sexy but also helps you feel sexy.

candleSet the mood

When your partner is stressed out from a hard day at work, it can be even more difficult to ask for what you want where sex is concerned. But the right atmosphere can make all the difference. Make your home or your bedroom into a romantic retreat to highlight what you have in mind so you don’t have to say anything at all. Candles, music, flowers, fluffy towels and even a bottle of nice wine can transform your bedroom into a sexy space perfect for romance. The more suggestive the atmosphere is, the easier it will be for both of you to relax and enjoy yourselves.

Make him the hero

Whether there’s something you aren't getting enough of or something you specifically want in bed, getting sex comes down to how you make your request. But don’t worry about having to be bolder than you’d like; simply focus on the positive. Tell your guy how incredible it is when he does X, Y and Z, rather than make him feel inadequate for not doing something you want. Men like to feel like the hero and know when they do something that pleases you. If you tell him how great something is and how incredible he is at it, you're going to see him doing it more often.

More sex tips and advice

Drop what you're doing and make more time for sex
How to sensualize your bedroom
How to spice up your sex life: Part 1

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