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What not to say to a newly single friend on Valentine's Day

Jessica Padykula is a freelance writer and editor in Toronto, Canada covering a wide range of  topics for several online lifestyle publications. She is a regular contributor for SheKnows, covering travel, style, relationships, health and...

Be a good BFF on Valentine's Day

Getting dumped sucks; getting dumped close to Valentine’s Day makes the whole situation feel that much worse. This Feb. 14, if you’re dealing with a newly single BFF, there are a few things you should avoid saying to her at all costs. These are things better left unsaid – especially when she’s hurting and even more importantly, when she’s feeling the opposite of romantic.

Woman consoling friend

How happy you are with your man

Trust us; she doesn't want to hear you gush about your wonderful guy, especially when she's fresh off a breakup. No matter how happy you are in your relationship (and want the world to know), keep it to yourself while she's upset – especially on Valentine's Day. This is the time to make things about her and help her move on, not make her feel worse by giving her every detail about how he's planning to cook you dinner, the flowers he left for you or the surprise trip he's taking you on. This is great (for you), but not something that she needs to hear on the 14th of all days.

That she should just get over it

Insisting she move on might seem like pragmatic advice, but it will come out as hurtful on Valentine's Day. As much as you might be tempted to tell her to suck it up and start fresh, she will need time to mend. Be patient and just be there for her (even if you'd rather just be at home with your new man). If it starts to seem like she's really stuck and can't or won't move on, then you can give her a nudge. She definitely needs to get over it at some point, but that's not something you can force. Allow her to wallow about how she no longer has a Valentine.

About your latest crush or one night stand

Just like telling her how great your husband or boyfriend is won't win you any points, giving her the details of your latest conquest or crush at work is also going to make her feel terrible since love is now the last thing she wants to think about. If you're really bursting to tell someone, tell any one of your other friends and bite your tongue when you're with her. Feb. 14 is not the day to gossip to your newly single gal pal about who you're planning to bring home later that night.

That you never liked him to begin with

Even if you did hate her ex, right after the breakup is never a good time to voice this opinion, especially when she's wishing he could still be with her Valentine. You want to be in a position to help her get over it or at least distract her from what she's feeling, not get in trouble for openly hating on someone she still cares about.

More about friendship

How to deal with a mean girl
4 Fun, no-fail ways to meet new friends
5 Reasons BFFs are so important

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