How to deal with a mean girl

Jan 25, 2012 9:00 AM by Jessica Padykula

Posted in Love & Sex / Marriage & Relationships / Friendship

Among other friends

Often there's a mean girl among a group of friends. She could have always hung out in your circle or maybe she was brought in by someone else. No matter where she came from, she's mean and she isn't afraid to one-up you any chance she gets. She's manipulative, catty and goes out of her way to make you feel stupid in front of your other friends. In other words, she sucks.

How to deal: This is a mean girl you can confront. We don't suggest starting a full blown fight, but do calmly tell her that her actions are not appreciated and that she isn't acting like a friend at all. If she laughs off your concerns, simply don't hang out with the group when she's around. Make plans with smaller groups of friends who you actually do want to spend time with – minus the jerk.

At work

Dealing with a mean girl at work isn't easy. She's always there, taking credit for your ideas, smiling in your presence and then saying something snarky behind your back and worst of all, angling for all the same projects, clients and promotions as you are. If this was the playground, you might have been able to fight fire with fire (or at least "accidentally" get mud on her new dress) with this mean girl, but this is the real world and you don't want to get fired.

How to deal: Do not at any point get into a verbal altercation with her. It can easily backfire and you don't want to give this mean girl any more ammunition. Instead, ensure that any ideas you have are kept to yourself and given to your boss directly so she can't take credit for them. Otherwise, simply stay out of her way, act civil and don't let her get to you.

In the family

Sister-in-law from hell? There's a mean girl in a lot of families, and if you seem to have inherited one by marriage, don't panic. We know it's tough. She mutters insults under her breath, gives you backhanded compliments and cuts you off every time you try to get a word in edgewise. She's no fun to have around the table, but calling out an in-law for offside behavior can be tricky.

How to deal: Ideally you don't have to see the family mean girl often (just on holidays and special occasions), so if that's the case, we suggest taking the nod-and-smile approach. Don't ever give her the satisfaction of knowing she's getting to you.

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Tags: friendship tips

Comments

Comments on "How to deal with a mean girl"

The workplace is the main place that I deal wih mean girls now that I am out of school and work full time. What has helped is the mantra "always be preprared." You never know what she has planned, but always be a step ahead to out your best foot forward. I also try to kill her with kindness! It throws those girls off guard when you actually treat them how a normal person should be treated, and you always come out on top because everyone around you loves you! Win win :)

I agree. In my circle of girlfriends, there has always been one that was known to put others down whether she meant to or not. While most girls were often too intimidated to stand up for themselves, when I had my encounter with her she finally backed off. Of course, I made sure to do it in an appropriate manner, and kindly let her know that her actions weren't appreciated. This article REALLY helps because now not only do we get along comfortably, but also live in the same building with a group of friends.