Are You Dating
We all like to have fun, but if he's 30+ and still going out four times a week and getting drunk with his friends as if he just got to college, he might need a reality check. Growing up doesn't mean giving up socializing, but it does mean finding a healthy balance between having fun and being responsible. If he doesn't get why he can't continue acting like he did 10 years ago, there's a good chance he'll never grow up.
Why it sucks: Do you really want to be waiting for him to roll in at 4 a.m. (smelling like a brewery) every night of the week when you have get up for work, like an adult? We didn't think so.
Living in the moment is important and planning too much can cause anxiety, but there is something to be said for having some idea of what you're going to do past tomorrow. When you're younger, it's easy to simply work to make money so you can have fun with your friends. But once you get older, it's a good idea to have some kind of goal – career goals, personal goals – something you're working towards. Anyone who can't be bothered to set goals is someone who refuses to grow up.
Why it sucks: Eventually you're going to lose respect for someone who has no desire to better himself.
Video games are a popular hobby, but there is more to life than your XBOX. We get that grown men everywhere are gamers and live and breathe for their gaming system of choice, but many of them also do other things. They jog, they travel, they read books, they cook – in other words, they're well-rounded. It shows a lot about his maturity level if his only non-work activity is blowing things up on his TV or computer screen.
Why it sucks: After a while, you'll have nothing to talk about and if you can't get him out doing other things (that don't involve a controller), you'll get bored. Fast.
A true mark of immaturity is someone who has yet to understand that being there for other people is an important part of life. We expect this of teenagers and even college kids (or at least give them the benefit of the doubt that they'll change), but if your adult guy is super-selfish, you have a problem.
Why it sucks: If everything has to be his way all the time, you're eventually going to start resenting him.
Is he an adult and still living in his parents' basement? If so, he might never grow up. We understand there may be mitigating circumstances for his being forced to move back in with mom and dad, but if he's fairly financially secure and just can't be bothered to move out, he might not be capable of being an adult.
Why it sucks: Date night at his mom's house? No thanks.